--- In case you needed a laugh: Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; thats reassurance to those of us who fly routinely. >>> > >>>>>>>>>> >After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a gripe sheet, which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. >>>>>>>>>> >The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. >>>>>>>>>> > >>>>>>>>>> >Never let it be said that ground >>>>>>>>>> crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some > actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS > pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions > recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance > engineers. > > >>>>>>>>>> >By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.... >>>>>>>>>> > >>>>>>>>>> > >>>>>>>>>> >P: Left inside main >>>>>>>>>> tire almost needs > replacement. > >S: Almost replaced >>>>>>>>>> left inside main > tire. > >* >>>>>>>>>> >P: Test flight OK, >>>>>>>>>> except auto-land very > rough. > >S: Auto-land not >>>>>>>>>> installed on this > aircraft. > >* >>>>>>>>>> >P: Something loose >>>>>>>>>> in cockpit > >S: Something >>>>>>>>>> tightened in > cockpit > >* >>>>>>>>>> >P: Dead bugs on >>>>>>>>>> windshield. > >S: Live bugs on >>>>>>>>>> back-order. > >* >>>>>>>>>> >P: Autopilot in >>>>>>>>>> altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per > minute descent > >S: Cannot reproduce >>>>>>>>>> problem on > ground. > >* >>>>>>>>>> >P: Evidence of leak >>>>>>>>>> on right main landing > gear. > >S: Evidence >>>>>>>>>> removed. > >* >>>>>>>>>> >P: DME volume >>>>>>>>>> unbelievably > loud. > >S: DME volume set to >>>>>>>>>> more believable > level. > >* >>>>>>>>>> >P: Friction locks >>>>>>>>>> cause throttle levers to > stick. > >S: Thats what >>>>>>>>>> friction locks are > for. > >* >>>>>>>>>> >P: IFF inoperative >>>>>>>>>> in OFF mode. > >S: IFF always >>>>>>>>>> inoperative in OFF > mode. > >* >>>>>>>>>> >P: Suspected crack >>>>>>>>>> in windshield. > >S: Suspect youre >>>>>>>>>> right. > >* >>>>>>>>>> >P: Number 3 engine >>>>>>>>>> missing. > >S: Engine found on >>>>>>>>>> right wing after brief > search > >* >>>>>>>>>> >P: Aircraft handles >>>>>>>>>> funny. (I love this one!) > >S: Aircraft warned >>>>>>>>>> to straighten up, fly right and be > serious. > >* >>>>>>>>>> >P: Target radar >>>>>>>>>> hums. > >S: Reprogrammed >>>>>>>>>> target radar with > lyrics. > >* >>>>>>>>>> >P: Mouse in >>>>>>>>>> cockpit. > >S: Cat >>>>>>>>>> installed. > >* >>>>>>>>>> >And the best >>>>>>>>>> one for > last > >* >>>>>>>>>> >P: Noise coming from >>>>>>>>>> under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget > pounding on something with a > hammer. > >S: Took hammer away >>>>>>>>>> from the > midget
Posted on: Sun, 31 Aug 2014 13:30:11 +0000