- Chapter 41 - The church was packed for the 9:30 first communion mass. Lucia twitched in her mini-bridal dress, scratching at the veil in her hair. “Mamma, I’m hungry!” Lucia said rolling her eyes as Mamma Testadura came in for a last minute thumb-lick polish. “Yu must-a ‘ave niente in yu panza quando yu eat Gesu for the first times Lucia. Nonna give tu yu a Kinder Surprise h’after the church.” Kinder Surprise chocolates had become currency for Nonna after realising Francesca’s kids loved them. She would always have several eggs in her purse ready to whip out when she needed the kids to do something. As the music began to play, the kids were herded into the church by several teachers. Mamma and Francesca peered across the church looking for Pasquale, Antonio, Giuseppina and Nino. Antonio was already dressed for his confirmation, even though the mass wasn’t until 11:00. Mamma had insisted that he wear Pasquale’s confirmation suit, a pure white suit with red cummerbund and matching bow tie. Francesca sat next to Pasquale as Antonio called his Nonna to sit next to him. As the mass continued, Father McKinney called the first communion class to the altar. Francesca and Pasquale smiled at each other as their little girl Lucia graciously walked to the front and received her first communion. Mamma blessed herself and silently wished her husband was here to witness such an important day. The solemn moment was quickly interrupted by the sound of Anthony, Sebastiana and Giovanni. “There they are mum!” Anthony yelled pointing at Antonio. Sebastiana hushed Anthony. “Principo, the mass is still going, we need to be quiet,” she whispered loudly. “When’s it my turn?” Anthony whined. “I’m not comfortable, I don’t like this suit, it’s itchy!” “Anthony, shush,” Giovanni snapped. Giovanni’s patience for Anthony’s whinging was very short. “Your mass is up next.” Sebastiana pulled out Anthony’s portable video game device and gave it to Anthony. Nino and Mamma Testadura glared at Sebastiana judgementally. “Sebastiana!” Giuseppina intervened. “Yu no let ‘im play games in church!” “Relax Ma, Anthony gets bored in church. If they wanted him to pay attention then they should make it more interesting.” Mamma Testadura looked over at Antonio who was silently praying and gave a grin to Giuseppina. The first communion mass ended and the grade sixes were asked to line up at the back of the hall. Anthony, not wanting to leave his game mid level, let out the usual protest before Giovanni snapped the game out of Anthony’s hands and shoved it into his pocket. “Dad! I’m not finished!” Anthony yelped. “You bet your butt you are, now get to the back of the hall, your mass is about to start.” As Anthony began to sulk back towards the back of the room, he caught a glimpse of Mamma Testadura giving Lucia her Kinder Surprise. “I want a Kinder Surprise!” he yelled for the whole hall to hear. In hearing his protest, Lucia locked eyes with Anthony and exaggeratedly began to eat the chocolate in front of him. “It’s not fair, why does she get a chocolate and I don’t. I’m STARVING!” Sebastiana pulled out a snickers bar from her bag and offered it to Anthony. “No, I want a Kinder Surprise, not this, it doesn’t have a toy in it!” “I’ll buy you a toy later Principo. Please, go stand at the back, look, the bishop is already here.” Sebastiana straightened Anthony’s bow tie and guided him to the back of the hall whilst he stomped loudly in protest. Once again, the organist heralded the beginning of the mass as the grade six boys and girls followed the bishop down the aisle and to the altar. The mass proceeded through the regular motions and the time for the confirmations had finally arrived. Anthony, wanting to be the first to be confirmed, pushed his way to the front of the line, spinning around to gloat at Antonio who was several children behind him. Anthony, guided by his teachers, walked to the altar and stood before the bishop. Pasquale stood beside him, having been chosen to be his sponsor. In return Giovanni stood with Antonio. “What is your name young man?” the bishop asked. “Antonio-Giovanni Rainbow Mezzatesta-Mangiapane.” Anthony replied smugly. “But everyone calls me Anthony.” “And who is your saint young man?” the bishop asked. “Saint Pantaenus,” Anthony replied, trying not to giggle at the name he chose because it had the word ‘anus’ in it. Anthony didn’t really pay attention in religion class. He didn’t know what the sacrament was for or what would take place. His mind was solely fixated on the presents and money he was going to receive at the party. He was taken by surprise when the bishop gently slapped him in the face. “I now confirm you Anthony-Giovanni Rainbow Pantaenus Mezzatesta-Mangiapane in the name of the father, and of the son, and of the holy spirit,” Anthony’s eyes welled up as he let out a scream. “He hit me! Ma! He hit me!” Anthony grabbed his face and began to wallow in exaggerated pain. The bishop was shocked; he had no idea how to react. Sebastiana flew out of her pew to comfort her poor prince, nestling him into her bosom. “Beddu di mamma, it’s OK my principo. That’s what happens at confirmation, you learnt that at school remember? Look, Antonio’s turn is next, you watch.” Anthony looked over to watch Antonio and Giovanni step up to the bishop. “Who confirms this child?” the bishop asked. “I do,” Giovanni responds, placing his hand on Antonio’s right shoulder. “What is your name young man?” “Antonio-Vincenzo Pasquale Francis Saltaformaggio Vito Testadura,” Antonio replied, slightly embarrassed. “And who do you chose to be your saint?” “Saint Bernado. He was the saint my Nonno Vincenzo chose for his confirmation.” Antonio replied with a proud smile. “I now confirm you Antonio-Vincenzo Pasquale Francis Saltaformaggio Vito Bernardo Testadura.” As the bishop repeated the same motion with Antonio, Anthony began screaming again. “He hit me way harder than that!” “I’m going to hit you twice as hard if you don’t shut up!” Giovanni said, grabbing Anthony by the arm and sitting him down on the pew. “Yanni!” Sebastiana yelled. “Seb, seriously, just sit down and shut up. The whole bloody church is watching us.” Sebastiana crossed her arms and glared at Giovanni. After the mass, Mamma Testadura and Giuseppina stayed back to complete a rosary as the rest of the family headed out into the yard. Sebastiana and Anthony had matching fungias, both pointed directly at Giovanni. Francesca, Pasquale and Nino all huddled around Antonio and Lucia. Nino turned to Sebastiana. “What a matter wit yu boi? Troppo soft wit ‘im! He crai too much!” “There’s nothing wrong with YOUR grandson Dad. He’s just a sensative boy.” “Senza boi alright. Senza palle!” Nino joked, laughing to Francesca and Pasquale. Later that night, The Floridia Club was buzzing with activity as the guests poured in. Nino had recently become president of the club and was honoured to host such a special event – his three grandchildren – all celebrating a sacrament. The hall was lined with photographs of Floridia, Sicily – the town where both the Mezzatestas and Testaduras had their roots. As Nino played host, welcoming his friends and family, the first round of hors d’oeuvres made their circulation. Nino, sipping his whiskey, grabbed a handful of sugared almonds. “Nino!” Giuseppina shrieked. “Ti ricordi chiddu chi dissi u dittore?” Nino had recently been diagnosed with diabetes but was unwilling to make dietary changes. “Statti muta tu! Sola una mi pighai!” Nino responded. Giuseppina pried open Nino’s hand and snapped the sugared almonds out. “Troppo zucchero ti fa moririe,” she said, shaking her head. “E fammi morire!” Nino responded, waving his hand and turning his back to her. He quickly retreated into the crowd in an attempt to lose her ever-watching gaze. The party continued as Alfonse the emcee, took the microphone and welcomed the guests. First course was served, salt and pepper fried calamari. Anthony scoffed at his plate. “I want pasta!” he yelled. Lucia, who was never patient with Anthony, quickly responded. “Shut up and eat your fish you big sook.” Giovanni smiled at Lucia who had just beaten him to the punch. “Beddu principo, Mamma will make you pasta tomorrow night. Eat your calamari darling.” Sebastiana quietly said, hoping to end the tantrum before it began. “I don’t like it! I want pasta. This is my party isn’t it? I get to eat what I want!” Nino stared at Sebastiana with pleading eyes, asking for her to end this quickly. He had a room filled with his friends from the club and didn’t want to be embarrassed. “Anthony, you don’t have to eat your calamari if you don’t want to.” Sebastiana eyed a plate of spaghetti sitting at Barry and Blanche’s table. Lydia, their eldest daughter, had recently become vegetarian and had ordered the vegetarian dish. Sebastiana walked over to Blanche. “Excuse me Blanche, do you mind if my son has Lydia’s spaghetti? He doesn’t like calamari.” “Geez I dunno Sebby, Lydia’s just gone out to drop some kids off at the pool to make some room for it. She loves a good spag.” “Let her have it Blanche,” Barry intervened. “You know there’s another five courses coming tonight, I’m sure Lyd won’t care.” Barry leaned in and whispered into Blanche’s ear “You know her kid will go ballistic if he doesn’t get it.” Barry handed over the plate to Sebastiana. Without a thank you, Sebastiana grabbed the plate and headed back to her table to appease her son. Anthony quickly spun his fork into the spaghetti and slurped in a forkful, splattering himself with a small trail of sauce. Giovanni shook his head and pulled Sebastiana to the side. “Seb, this is getting out of hand.” Giovanni had never spoken with such a serious tone to Sebastiana before. “Admit it, Anthony is a terror and it’s because you jump everytime he cries. Can’t you see what’s going on? The camp? The church? Screaming at the bishop. I want you to back me up for once. Sebastiana rolled her eyes, but didn’t respond. The D.J opened up the dance-floor with thumping modern day music. Mamma Testadura put her fingers in her ears. “Troppo louda!” she yelled to Pasquale. Antonio, seeing his nonna upset, grabbed her by the hand and led her to the dance-floor. “Come on Nonnna, dance with me, shake your butt like this!” Antonio began to shake is butt from side to side as Mamma giggled. She quickly joined in, shaking her butt in time with Antonio’s. Pasquale and Francesca picked up Lucia and the three of them danced together, giggling at Mamma and Antonio. Anthony stayed at the table dropping his uneaten calamari into the jugs of soft drink on the table. After another two songs worth of giggling, Mamma, exhausted, stumbled back to her chair. She was short of breath. “Mum, are you OK?” Francesca asked worried. She was glad Pasquale was still dancing with Lucia and hadn’t noticed his mother’s pale complexion. “Si, si, it notink. I just gira too fast. Don’ yu worri abelt mi, I strong, como cavallo.” Mamma smiled at Francesca and kissed her hand. “Go, dance wit’ Antonio. I be h’okay.” Francesca returned to Antonio on the dance-floor but continuing to keep a close eye on Mamma. Several courses and an extra large serving of prawns passed and dessert was finally served. As the dessert platter was placed on the table, Nino grabbed a canolli. “Hai a diabetta ! Non tu poi mangiare chissu!” Giuseppina yelled, snapping the canolli out of Nino’s hand. “Lassa mi stare! Sempre tu si! Non ce rumpiri i palli!’ Nino replied, snatching the canolli back. Giuseppina shook her head. “Nino mi voi lassare? Non mi voi bene?” she said, directing a finger-pyramid at him. “Ti vogghu bene, ma i dolce i vogghu bene puro.” Nino replied, biting the end off of the canolli. Giuseppina threw he hands into the air. “Allora mangia e ammazzati!” Francesca took Nino’s hand. “Dad, please, you have to take this seriously. You’ve had a taste, now that’s enough. You want to be alive to see your neputi grow up and get married don’t you?” Nino sighed and handed over the canolli. Anthony snapped it from Francesca’s hand and stuffed it in his mouth, smiling and mocking at Nino. “Ha ha Nonno, I can eat as many as I like!” he sung with a mouth full. Giovanni slapped the back of Anthony’s head and Anthony spat it out. “Show respect to your Nonno!” Giovanni said. Anthony’s eyes watered and he looked at his mother for backup. Sebastiana looked at her dad and at Giovanni. “Listen to your father Anthony,” she said. Anthony crossed his arms, his lower lip trembling. “Mum, Dad hit me!” Anthony turned on the waterworks. Sebastiana looked at her Dad and could see he was visually upset by Anthony’s behaviour. “Anthony, stop,” Sebastiana said quietly. “No, Dad hit me! Dad hit me! Dad hit me!” Anthony began to increase his volume. Sebastiana raised her voice. “And your mamma’s going to slap you a new face if you don’t knock it off. Enough!” Giovanni smiled at Sebastiana. Anthony sat shocked, mouth agape. He crossed his hands and produced an open mouthed fungia. “Suck those tears back in Anthony, suck them back. You say sorry to your nonno and eat your dessert quietly.” Anthony looked at Nino and whispered an inaudible apology. “I can’t hear you Anthony,” Lucia mocked, enjoying the theatrics. “I’m sorry Nonno.” Nino smiled at Sebastiana, whispering ‘grazie’. Sebastiana looked at Giovanni and gave a not so subtle seductive wink and softly bit the tip off another canolli.
Posted on: Mon, 23 Sep 2013 06:21:38 +0000
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