- Im seeing & hearing about so many relationship troubles lately .. . Yall are doing so much damage to each other & yourselves as individuals that even I can feel your pain, frustration, & rage. Understand that ALL couples go through highs & lows, some more severe than others .. . but honestly, regardless of the situation, its how you cope with it, how you communicate, how you listen. Shit is not easy by any means, & its going to take work. However, some couples are more high-conflict than others, which means that much more work. A lot of the time there is a lot of blame on the other party, not fully realizing you have already lost yourself, because youre not taking responsibility for your actions. Do not give the Well this is me & has always been me. You should accept it if you love me. BULLSHIT. Its all learned behavior. Break away from that mentality. STOP BEING A VICTIM. Even reading all the best-selling self-help books in the world wont do you any good if youre not WILLING to change. If its possible, go to therapy - couples/individuals .. . Whatever! Do you really want to be like this? Theres also the mentality that theres someone else that can make you happier. Actually - mmmno. Why? Because youre not happy for yourself. Youre too busy throwing a pity-party in your head to give & receive love without trying to subconsciously sabotage or self-sabotage a good thing. What you carry on in one relationship, that you didnt try to fix in the one previous, will carry on to the next one, & the next one. .. & then you grow angry & then sad again, not understanding why you cant find someone & be happy. FIND your love for yourself first. Be vulnerable. Be honest. First & foremost to yourself. It is no ones job to love you, even if it feels like you NEED it; its just another crutch, because youre not willing to become stronger & more stable. That shit is scary, but the rewards are priceless. Ask yourself this. .. If you have children one day, is this who you want to be for them? Will you be mentally & emotionally stable enough to give & be present for your child? Remember, your child may not understand it then, but they will feel the stress & the negativity of you & your partner - & that energy in turn feeds them, grows them. You will be their foundation & perspective on life. Love isnt materialism. Love isnt comfort. Love isnt power. Love isnt easy. But it can be a damn beautiful thing of youre willing to do what it takes for it. The couples that are meant to be are the ones who go through everything that is meant to tear them apart. .. & come out even stronger than they were before.
Posted on: Sun, 28 Dec 2014 03:09:29 +0000
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