#10971-Sorry for the long post below. But cant help it. Have been suffocated since long. Im in a relation since 2009. We were in the same engg college and started chatting on Orkut. It was mutual feeling from both of us. He still hasnt proposed to me.Things were pretty good for the first year. Then because of certain misunderstandings created by his friends, my character was questioned by him which lead to our break up.even after our brk up I still used to pine for him. maybe this pining was present because Im a fat gal and he was my first bf.not plump,but proper fat.this insecurity lead me into wanting to be with him irrespective of everything. He did come back.but then started the worst.he was alwz his worst with me.never tuk any efforts for our relation.tuk me for granted like hell.tossed me around as per his wishes.never calmed me down after a fight.alwz made me beg and go back to him.when he is in a gud mood,he is the best. Otherwise........ My self esteem, self respect all flew out of the window whenever I dealt with him. He can talk to his friends who r gals,but I had to stop talking to my guy friends including my bestest friend.I had quit fb for him.still nothing ever made him happy.he was the biggest hypocrite around. I alwz bent, compromised, sacrificed my happiness for him.but now things r really bad btwn us.sometimes he himself says that we wil get married.other times he says he wont marry me and tells metujhe Jo ukhaadna hai ukhaad le.I end up crying to sleep almost everyday cz I loved him unconditionally.currently we arent on talking terms as such. I try my best to forget him n move on.but its not happening. Maybe its cz m fat and there wont be any other guy to love me inspite of me having other gud qualities,some of them being intelligent,witty and a sports lover who watches futbal, tennis and F1 etc.I hv tried losing weight,but due to certain medical conditions,m unable to progress much.I want an end to this suffering.but I dont know how.I dont know why he doesnt realize things. How can I make him realise that the way he treats me is wrong and that it hurts me. Friends,I really need your help, suggestions in gathering up the remaining pieces of my life.I dont think I deserve such suffering from a guy who I loved the most. Cant fat gals hv bfs who treats them well? I dunno if Ill ever find some1 who wil accept me. Plz help me out in telling me m I right in wanting to move ahead? Cz a part of my heart still wants to be with him.
Posted on: Sun, 11 Jan 2015 14:58:48 +0000
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