#11 [44FEMALE] Earlier today I posted my confession about how I want the situation to be over with my sick husband so I can move on with my life. I didn’t expect to receive support and praise from others on this page. I am not that awesome. When my husband and I first met, I was a drug addict, but he saw something in me that no one else had ever saw in me before. He helped me get clean and sober, then he made me a part of his family. I wasn’t as good to him as he was to me back then. I tried to be, but I had relapses from time to time. He should have given up on me, but instead, he always provided a path for me to come back home. Not an easy path, I had to work to get back home, but he always left a door open for me. He encouraged me to get my GED, and then he supported me through college and would not let me give up until I had my BA degree. He could have, and should have found someone else who completed him and added value to his life, instead he stayed with me, and helped complete me. I am not the good guy everyone thinks I am. When I posted my confession here, I wanted some asshole to make some kind of offensive remark about my situation, so I could have something I could be legitimately angry over. Something real that I could anonymously rant and curse about, someone I could direct my anger at who deserved it, but wouldn’t be hurt by it, because they don’t know who I am, and they get their kicks out of trolling and inflaming others anyway. I am not the awesome person everyone thinks I am, because I was seriously looking for someone I could verbally rip into. Instead, I got supportive responses from real people, being their real selves. Don’t misunderstand me, I do appreciate the support. Knowing that others don’t necessarily think I am a horrible person because I want to be through with this, and move on with my life, is a relief. No one called me out for being selfish because I am so miserable when he is the one who is facing a terminal illness, and that makes me feel somewhat less guilty and less ashamed of my true feelings in this situation. But I do wanted a real tangible, something or someone to be angry at, I wanted someone I can call an asshole and a f-----g son of a b----h, and the source of all that is wrong in my life. I wanted someone I can truly hate on, and I wanted to have good reasons to hate on them. So, no, I really am not that amazing or awesome, because I thought Id find that someone here, in this group, where I received nothing but support and praise. Thank you all for your kind words.
Posted on: Mon, 12 Jan 2015 03:15:43 +0000
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