#1230: Ok so Ive been meaning to get this off my chest. Honestly, I feel so stupid and retarded right now. I know I should be grateful for being in such an amazing school, having such amazing friends, but Im honestly not. This school worries me too much sometimes. Some days Ill come home and just fall to the floor crying because Im surrounded by so many smart people getting 100s and I struggle to even pull off a 70. And once I start crying, I cant stop. I sit there and cry for hours on end because I feel like my life is slowly falling apart and I cant explain why. Especially with my friends. I love them all to death and some of them are so sweet, but Im always put last. Everyone I put in priority and consider my closest friends, they all just consider me an acquaintance or someone to help study with. They all tell me theyll be here for me whenever I need them, but honestly, I know they wont be. Half of them cant even keep up a normal conversation with me, its all filled with odd silences and they never open up to me the way I do to them. And its funny because even with all this hurt and struggling, I manage to think maybe they really are my friends who care and love me. But deep down, I know they could care less about me. So bottom line of all of this: Im a retard with no true friends, keeping this all inside of me until one day, I explode and go insane.
Posted on: Tue, 26 Nov 2013 01:49:59 +0000
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