#25 I woke up the next day and Dad was there Dad:Polikie,I know you are in pain and I cant imagine your pain,polie,dont cry please (he wiped tears off my cheeks,I ddnt know I was crying) Me:I didnt deserve to be a mother I failed my own baby....thats why God took him away from....he didnt give me a chance to hold him,to kiss him...to hear him call me mama.....to tell him I love you....why...why dad...what have I done so wrong that God decided to take the one I love (yoooh I cried) Dad kept comforting me till visiting hours were over.After visiting hours Gabe came with 2 nurses,one was holding a baby Gabe:Am not supposed to be doing this (the nurse gave the baby)It is Lumahle,I thought it would be better if you saw him before he was cremated,jus to say goodbye (My baby was beautiful,he seemed at peace,so innocent,he was dead yet seemed alive,I held on to him and whispered sweet nothings to him,I stared at my baby,tool my phone on the table and took pics of him and with him)Gabe came back with the nurses I didnt even notice they had left Nurse1:We have to go Mam ( I looked at her and stared back at my baby mxxx I was like she is crazy in my head) Nurse2:Mam..am sorry but the baby has to go,its time for him to be cremated Me:Cremate him?look at him his alive and you wanna kill my baby...Gabe tell them he is still alive,please dont let them take away my baby Nurse2:Please mam (I refused) Gabe:Amy,sweetheart..give me the baby my love (I kissed Lumahles forehead) Me:No you are like them,you want to take my baby away from me,you want to burn my baby!!Forget it am not giving him to you!! Gabe:Am sorry Amy,Nurse take the baby (the other came to hold my arms and the other one took my baby away,I screamed) Me:(I was shouting)BRING BACK MY BABY!!WHERE ARE YOU TAKING MY BABY....YOOOOOOH....HELP...HELP.. (i was screaming and crying) Gabe....please dont do this.....bring him back (He came and held so tight,telling me he was sorry,that he loved me,he comforted me,I cried silently in his arms,I ended up sleeping) 3 days passed,Lumahle was buried and me and lungile were cleansed,I never ate since the day I lost my baby,I locked my self in my room and wouldnt come out.Gabe would come to check up on me but I didnt let him,the only person who entered was Ma lizzy,she was my rock,she would cry with me,she told me that she was barren,she couldnt have children but her husband married her that way coz he loved her,she told me to stop torturing myself and also stop pushing Gabe away.I didnt hear or see lungile since the cleansing.He jus disappeared on me and frankly I didnt care,he was dealing with the loss of our baby in his own way or either he was replacing him with Nollys baby.I decided it was time to accept that Lumahle was gone and never coming back. It was time for change to come into my life.It was time for me to free my sons spirit and let him free XOXO AMAHLE :-) :-) :-)
Posted on: Sat, 13 Dec 2014 11:03:21 +0000
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