#75 LIFE AS I KNOW IT: FLASH BACK Extras- Take 1 There is one thing that I have realised, just when you think you have everything figured out then out of the blue something happens and lives you awestruck and that is exactly what happened to me a week ago. As usual I woke up in the morning did my usual motherly duties and not forgetting the wifely duties as well (what would a day be without a proper morning glorification session? Everybody needs some of those). Zodwa and I got the kids ready for school and I got ready for work. Sandile has been working from home most of the time and only goes to the office once or twice a week. On this particular day he was to be at home, he saw me off and I went to live the girls at school before leaving zodwa at the bus stop to town. I got to work and a few minutes late and there was just too much work that I needed to do. The auditors were around and that meant sizwe was around as well. After our little phone fall out months back we didn’t speak to each other and when I came back to work, he was surprised to see me and for some reason neither of us ever mentioned the call saga to each other. It was water under the bridge and we started off on a clean slat. Zandi had already started her maternity leave, she was about to pop any minute and I felt sorry for her especially because she was swollen and her pregnancy was just not kind to her, she was glowing in a not so pretty way. Danm these hormones making a pretty woman look not so pretty when she really need to be looking radiant. The better part of my morning was spent buried deep in my work by lunch time things were a bit better. Around 15:00 in the afternoon my phone rang, it was still in my handbag and I had forgotten I even had one to begin with. I searched for it and by the time I got hold of it the call had ended. I checked the caller ID, it was a restricted number. In my head I thought it must be one of those sales consultatnts wanting to sell me the products their companies offer. I placed my phone aside and went about my work. My phone rang again, I checked the caller ID, with PRIVATE NUMBER flashing on my screen. “hello” I answered, I could hear noise on the background but the caller was silent, me:” hello” *clears throat* “hi… hi lethu” it was a man’s voice, a familiar voice that I haven’t heard in such a long time but I could still recognise. My body just went hot and cold on me and I felt it tighten up as I felt a eerily spasm creep up from the sole of my feet to the hip of my head. Causing me to jerk twice not forgetting the back of my hair rise up and the infamous goose bumps. I tried my best to control my voice and not give away the fact that I feel unsettled by his call. “ do you know who you speaking to?” me:” yes, ray” I felt out of breath calling out his name, especially after what happened the last time we spoke. Ray:“wow I thought you wouldn’t be able to hear that its me. Anyway how are you?” my mouth went dry, I took a small sip from my water bottle just to moist my mouth. Me:” Im good” ray:” that’s nice, listen I know you are probably cracking your mind trying to think why I called you. The truth is I would like to apologise for the pain I caused you and your family” me:” oh, that happened well over 3 years ago and honestly my family and I have moved on from that” ray:” I know, but I still owe you and apology. I don’t know what came over me and I will forever be grateful to you for not pressing any charges against me. I was in a very dark place leh, I was still holding on to the hope that maybe one day you and I will be together again. Its crazy I know, especially because I was due to get married to my son’s mother” me:” was? Didn’t you get married?” ray:” no, I couldn’t drag her along, it would have been so unfair and selfish of me to do that. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t be the man that she wanted, I was still not over the woman who broke my heart ” me:” that’s ridiculous, a woman breaking your heart. You the guy who drove girls crazy and I bet you still do” ray:” oh lethu, you have no idea do you. you broke my heart when you left me and I don’t think I will ever get over you but you know what? I have learnt to let you go and right now Im in a very good place, mentally and otherwise. Hence my apology to you”… Extra- Take 2 Me:” I don’t know what to say” ray:” don’t say anything yet. I really am sorry and I wish you and your family everything of the best.” Me:” thanks ray, thank you very much and I pray that you find the happiness that you so rightfully deserve” ray:” I am at peace lethu, no amount of happiness can get any better than what I’m feeling now. Its taken me years of therapy and anti depressants to get to this beautiful place Im in now. A man’s heart can break just like that of a woman, but with us men we chose not to talk about it and that results in so much resentments and sometimes we end up being what women call a man whore just to heal our bruised egos.” Me:” Im lost for words” ray:” that’s a first, you usually have so much to say. Anyway let me not keep you any further, I have already taken so much of your tim already. Thank you for listening to me and take care Miss Mkhize, Im sorry I don’t know your husbands surname and that’s why Im calling you by your maiden name” me:” zuma” ray:” oh right, have a good day Mrs Zuma” me:” Thank you Mr Lewis, you take care of yourself” ray:” I will do just that, good bye lethu” me:” bye. Ray” we hung up and I held my phone in my hand playing with it and not really sure what to make of that call. I tried not to over anaylize it and besides, it had nothing but good intentions. I placed my phone aside and carried on with my work, some time later there was a knock on my door, “ come in” I shouted with my head bowed down going through some reports that were sent to me earlier. “ why are you still here? Everybody has left already” I look up and I’m greeted by Mr Zondi’s perfect smile. Me:” you’re still here?” sizwe:” I was wraping up a few things, I needed it done and out of the way for me to continue with what I planned to do tomorrow. What’s your excus?” me:” I lost track of time and now I think Im done for the day. what time is it? I need to fetch my babies from day care” sizwe:” its 16:53” me:” crap, Im sure my babies are starting to panic” sizwe:” don’t panic, anyway I came to check up on you” me:”wow, that’s so kind of you and so not necessary” I was packing away my things, logging off my pc, sending a text to sandile that Im still at work but about to leave and lastly entertaining zwe and his charming self. My multi tasking abilities amaze me sometimes. Sizwe:” what are you doing this evening? Can I take you out for drinks?” me:” no you cant I have a family to take care of” sizwe:” I don’t know what I ever did to you, for you to dislike me so” me:” how can I ever hate you, Im just over the teenage crush I had on you” sizwe:” wow, I knew it. just so you know Im blushing” me:”really?” sizwe:” yes, my dark complexion has me at a disadvantage of not showing how red my cheeks are” me:” yeah right” I took my things and made my way towards the door, sizwe was still standing by the door with one hand on the door handle and his other on the handle of his wheeled briefcase. As I walked closer towards the door he stepped back, I closed the door and we made our way out of the building into the parking bays. We were making small talks about his wife, yes sizwe was now officially off the market. He had recently gotten married to his long term girlfriend (of more than 5 years, it pays off to be patient sometimes). We got to the parking and went to our respective cars and we drove off. Sandile called to say that he had gone for the girls, so I drove home and when I got there zodwa was bathing both of them, while sandile was in the kitchen preparing supper. An hour later we ate, after supper we had our family time sharing how our day went. It wasn’t long until the girls fell asleep. We went to bed living zodwa in the lounge who was busy with her assignment, we had a bath and got in bed cuddling and enjoying being in each others arms. Sandile:” baby are you on the pill?” me:” no” sandile:” any contraceptives?” me:” none” sandile:” mmm are you sure?” me:” yes, what’s this about?” sandile:” Im just amazed that there is still no seeding flourishing in your belly” me:” I’m amazed that you are keeping tabs” sandile:” Im not, its just a thought that crossed my mind” he pulled me closer kissing the top of my head and I drift off… LIFE AS IT REMAINS Sandile frantically tried to get me to wake up, how could he shoot me then think I will wake up. the pain on my shoulder was dreadful Sandile:” baby wake up” i opened my eyes and I looked around the room, Im at home in our bed. Im still crying, sandile:” its only a dream baby, its only a dream” I wiped my tears away sandile:” you were crying in your sleep baby. Whatever it is that you were dreaming off must have been bad because at one time I heard you pray then you cried ‘sandile no’ and now look at you sweaty and in tears” I touched my left shoulder and there was nothing, I let off a sigh of relief as I realised that it was all a dream, a bad one too if I may add. Me:” you are here?” sandile:” where else would I be. Come here and tell me about that dream” he pulled me close to him and I didn’t resist, why would I? this is the safest place for me, his arms keep me warm, my home is in his heart and his love is more precious than the riches of this world. I am blessed to be in the presence of such a man and the dream that I just had felt so real and it shook me to the core. Sandile:” MaMkhize Im still waiting for you to share with me that dream” me:” one day I will tell you about it” sandile:” promise” me:” I promise” he pulled me tighter almost leaving me breathless. Me:” what time is it?” sandile:” 03:55” me:” we have about 30 minutes on our side” I got off the bed and made my way into the bathroom, I washed my face and brushed my teeth, I went back into our bedroom and got under the covers and we cuddled. Sandile:” what are your plans for today?” me:” after work I have a 16:30 appointment with lunga” sandile:” for?” me:” my regular check ups” sandile:” ok” me:” what about you?” sandile:” Im thinking of taking my wife out tonight, with no kids just the two of us” me:” that sounds nice” sandile:” I thought it would” sandile:” I love you leh” me:” I love you more” I need no invitation to initiate some loving towards my husband. We share a kiss, a passionate kiss that is best shared with a loved one. Our deep throat kisses always led to soft moans, groans, perspiration and pure pleasure, that’s how we roll, Literally. After our morning service we took a shower, got dressed and I went to prepare breakfast and our lunch. The girls woke up and sandile helped zodwa get them ready, my phone rang. It was sanele, me:” hey” sanele:” hey yourself, you sound happy” me:” that’s because I am happy” sanele:” I wish your happiness could rub off on me” me:” shame, how can I help you?” sanele:” I miss my princess, where is she? Can I talk to her?” me:” the last I checked she was getting dressed. let me, oh she’s here please hold” I turned to sothando who was walking in with her sister and zodwa, me:” sothando your dad wants to speak to you” I gave her the phone. sothando:” hello baba… yebo… ok… Friday?... ok… love you too… mina leh, ubaba ufana wena (here you go leh, dad want to speak to you” I took the phone from her me:” hello” sanele:” hey, can I have her this weekend? I know its short notice but speaking to her really made me miss her even more” me:” ok, what time will you come for her?” sanele:” say around 16:00” me:” ok, see you then” sanele:” thank you, and pass my regards to zuma” me:” will do” sanele:” ok then bye” me:” bye” sandile walks in all dressed up ready for work. We had our breakfast then left. I took the girls to school and sandile was to collect them in the afternoon. I got to the office and found sizwe waiting for me with a cup of hot chocolate, sizwe:” good morning madam” me:” morning zwe” sizwe:” I love the glow you have this morning, you must have had some…” me:” don’t start and please excuse yourself I have plenty of work to do” sizwe:” ok see you at lunch” the day drags along and at 15:3 I left for my appointment, I wanted to beat the afternoon traffic. I got to lunga’s surgery just after 16:00, pearl gaves me a warm smile when I walk in. me:” hi” pearl:” hi, you look good.” me:” thank you” pearl:” you may go in when the other patient comes out” me:” ok, thanks” I sat and browse through the stacked magazines available there. A lady comes out of the consultation room 10 minutes later and i took my things and went to the consultation room. Me:” afternoon” lunga:” hey lethu, come here” we shared a hug. Lunga:” how are you?” me:” Im good” I couldn’t help feeling a little shy when I recall the things we got up to in my dream, lawd have mercy…
Posted on: Sat, 13 Sep 2014 09:25:25 +0000
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