+++ A LITTLE HELPFUL ADVICE +++ Conflict Resolution rself Ephesians 4:26 – “Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.” Conflict is inevitable, but as Christians it is not the conflict that is the problem, it is how the conflict is handled that matters. Conflict can actually strengthen a relationship when it is handled in the correct way. Interestingly the stronger the relationship the more significant conflict becomes. There are typically four general ways that most people handle conflict. Three of these ways are unhealthy. Four common ways people react to conflict: Fight to win This is the “I win, you lose” or “I’m right, you’re wrong” position. This person seeks to dominate the other person; personal relationships take second place to the need to triumph. The need to prove your self right can originate from a sense of low self-esteem. Withdraw This person seeks to avoid discomfort at all costs, saying “I’m uncomfortable, so I’ll get out.” This person sees no hope of resolving the conflict or lacks the strength to confront it. Many times, this person copes by using the dreaded “silent treatment.” Yield This person assumes it is far better to go along with the other person’s demands than risk a confrontation. “Rather than start another argument, whatever you wish is fine.” To this person, the need to feel safe is more important than resolving the problem. This person is not being honest within the scope of the relationship. Lovingly resolve This person wants to commit to resolving the conflict by taking steps to carefully and sensitively discuss the issue. Resolving a conflict requires a special attitude – one of humility, of placing the relationship at a higher priority than the conflict itself. This person values relationship more than winning or losing, escaping or feeling comfortable. With three of these styles a person actually creates more problems. Fighting to win, withdrawing or yielding may allow a person to temporarily escape the conflict at hand, but the person hasn’t really dealt with the emotions the conflict sparked such as the hurt, the resentment. We were created for relationship. First with God and then with each other. God desires for us to honestly and lovingly face issues, admit our faults and pray and let the Holy Spirit gives us solutions that bring the relationship closer to God’s plan.
Posted on: Wed, 19 Mar 2014 17:11:55 +0000
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