~ A mother’s perspective… My Story >DM< Most people growing up have dreams of becoming a Dr or Lawyer. For as long as I could remember, all I wanted to be when I grew up was a mother. I met who I thought was the man of my dreams in my early 20s. I fell in love and married him several years later… shortly after we were wed I found out I was pregnant with my first baby girl. Everything was awesome! Newly married, having my first baby! We even bought about 11 acres and split it with my husband’s brother for us each to build our family homes… the land was beautiful! His brother had gotten married a few years before us to a girl much younger than him. She was about 20 years younger than him. In counseling the therapist told this girl’s mother that there wasn’t anything wrong with it, after all many years ago it was common for men to marry 15/16 year old girls. He was 35. I did not know of my husband’s family secret, but it was about to unfold… During my pregnancy, my husband’s sister and her family started to become distant. I received a call from his sister asking me if I know about their brother. I ask her what she was talking about… she said that he has molested her daughter. It was a short conversation and no detail was given. I did ask my husband about it and he told me that yes it was true, but that his niece was a slut and it was basically her fault. He told me didn’t want to talk about it and that his sister and her family were crazy. I kept pressing for information. I was told by my husband that his brother knew someone who owned a pig farm and ask if I knew what pigs do to dead bodies (no is really didn’t) he said that they ate everything teeth and all... Eleven months after my first girl came, my second girl was here. His sister was going crazy and for good reason. She could not keep the secret in any longer.. She contacted me and told me she couldn’t handle me living next door to her brother anymore. She told me that he had molested her daughter from the age of 6 till she was 16. He would give her money and tell her that he loved her. His sister told me that her mother threatened to tell her son that he was not that of his fathers and was a product of an affair if she said anything. I began to push the issue with my then husband. He did validate the story, so I ask how a 6 yr old can be a slut. I ask how he could make his brother the God father of our oldest. And I ask why he did not tell me any of this before we got married and had children. His response to that was he thought if he kept his brother close that he wouldn’t do that to our children, he also said that if he would have told me I wouldn’t have married him… Mentally and physically sicker and sicker as the days passed. I taught my children since they could sit up in a bath tub to wash the own privates, I would tell them that no one else should be washing them or touching them, not me not their father, no one!! I told them to tell a teacher, me or anyone they felt comfortable doing so. I didn’t feel as though their father would protect them and to be real about it… I had to wonder why someone would stick up for someone like that. Made me question are you like that too?! I was so scared that his brother would feed me to the pigs as more and more information came to light. I found out that his brother also molested his nephew and was told that my husband also had relations with his niece. That was the key to him not telling me… I found enough courage to tell a family member and the next thing I knew my entire family showed up at my door step and within 15 min’s they had me and my girls packed up and ready and took us out of state and away! He convinced me to come back but under my conditions. We had special locks put up and his brother was cut out of our lives. The sickness was not going away. I still was not sleeping…. I didn’t trust anyone not even my husband. After five more years and another child I decided it was enough! I walked out of that house with my children. The very first night I left, I sleep like a baby! Being a single mom is hard. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. It has affected who I am today. I do not trust people and I will not let anyone near my children. There are no overnights or move in boys friends… after all if you can’t trust family who can you trust?! There is nothing special about me and I haven’t done anything that anyone else it not capable of doing… you just have to want it that bad! I am not a judgmental person, but if you are knowingly letting someone harm your child then you are just as guilty! JUST LEAVE!! >DM
Posted on: Sun, 04 Jan 2015 20:45:00 +0000
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