“Ambition has one heel nailed in well, though she stretch her fingers to touch the heavens.” – Lao Tzu, ancient Chinese philosopher, traditionally regarded as the founder of Taoism (lived during the 6th century BCE) If creating stretch goals seems like an alien concept, maybe we’re not at the point yet in our recovery where this is pertinent for discussion. On the other hand, who doesn’t have some idea in their mind about something they’d like to achieve that doesn’t seem remotely possible at present? This is a classic definition of a stretch goal. Some might call stretch goals just the stuff of dreams, but it is really so much more than that. When we think about something that we really want to achieve, it isn’t always the task or goal that’s closest to us or right within our grasp. Very often, in fact, it is something that will require a great deal of work and some amount of time for us to achieve. The more time and effort required, the more likely we are to have such goals farther down on our list. Granted, we’ve got plenty to keep us occupied in the short term. When it comes to recovery-oriented goals, there are daily schedules, getting back to work, mending relations with loved ones and family members, reintegrating ourselves back into the community, paying attention to valued friendships, beginning to work on the Twelve Steps in the rooms of recovery, getting a sponsor, and working to create and adopt a healthier lifestyle. What might cause us to stretch? In the basic sense, when we stretch, we exert effort to go beyond our current capabilities. This may involve learning new skills, acquiring more knowledge, maybe advancing through various stages of competency or experience. It isn’t remaining comfortably where we are, doing the same things we’ve been doing. That’s called our comfort zone. It isn’t the area of stretch goals. No, a stretch goal requires concerted effort. Usually, but not always, a stretch goal will involve a longer period of time. It may require additional resources or assistance from others. It may be something that we slowly develop an appreciation for and decide to pursue. But all stretch goals have one thing in common: We have to really want them in order to put forth the time and effort required to achieve them. That means we prize them enough to do whatever it takes to make it to the completion of the goal. Stretch goals may or may not be the accomplishment of something physical or material. A stretch goal could be emotional in nature. Say, for example, that we have always been afraid or reticent to engage in conversation with others. We may have feared that we didn’t posses good conversational skills or that no one would want to hear what we had to say or that others regarded us with disdain and didn’t want to talk with us. Overcoming such fear might take some time and considerable practice. We may even need additional counseling to help build or rebuild our self-esteem. We may need a supportive and nonjudgmental environment within which to practice our communication skills before we feel comfortable engaging others in the outside world in casual conversation. Such a goal could be considered a stretch goal. What many people are more familiar with are the kinds of goals that are more visible and material in nature. Let’s say that we want to own a home so that we are better able to provide a safe and secure environment for our family. Our addiction may have decimated our finances, ruined our credit, and cost us the home that we had. It may take many months or even years to begin to rebuild our credit, to lay away sufficient funds for a down payment and to be able to qualify for a mortgage. It is quite obvious that the goal of owning a home in this situation is a stretch goal. It will require a long-term commitment to repairing and rebuilding our credit and finances in order to achieve the goal. While the time may seem burdensome, along with the sacrifices and effort entailed, without sticking to the plan and keeping the goal firmly in mind, there can be no success. The present is the desire. The stretch is striving toward and grasping firmly each rung or step along the way toward accomplishment of the goal. What about building up our diminished self-confidence so that we believe we have an opportunity to create and then achieve stretch goals? Surely we need someone who is firmly behind our efforts and will support and encourage us in our pursuit of them. Suppose, however, that we lack such support in our home environment. We may live alone, be estranged from our loved ones and family. We may be in prison or isolated from the general public. We may be physically incapacitated or ill. All the more important the support of those in the 12-step rooms of recovery is in such circumstances. If we are unable to physically attend a 12-step meeting, we can participate online or in telephone chat sessions. If we have no family or loved ones to support us, we can find constant support and encouragement in the rooms of recovery. There are many others who are in similar situations to us, lacking someone at home to help encourage our recovery goals. So, it is possible for us – even if we have not a shred of self-confidence at present – to begin building it up over time. In fact, this can also be considered a stretch goal – attaining self-confidence where there was none. Can’t think of any stretch goals at present? That’s fine. It isn’t a deal-breaker. Keep going in our current efforts at short-term goals. Do the best we can each day and learn something new as often as possible. Keep learning as an ultimate goal, for every time we learn something new, we expand our horizons. Where we may not be able to see or envision a stretch goal at present, we may be able to discover one as a result of something new that we have just learned, some new experience we had or someone that we just met. The idea is to keep our eyes and ears open, to remain hopeful of our prospects in recovery, and to try to find the joy and satisfaction in each effort and activity that we do to the best of our ability each day. From this, stretch goals will eventually find their way into our consideration list. ~iPromises
Posted on: Sun, 30 Jun 2013 12:01:31 +0000
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