“During these holidays I am going to determine to be sensitive to insensitive comments” ~Shared by a Griever Recently, November 10th we shared thoughts on insensitive comments and their effects on our grief journey. What we want to share today specifically deals with the holiday season. Let’s be honest, your holiday host, some family and many friends prefer you not bring your grief along as your guest. After all the holidays are a time for merriment, special activities and joyous times. You are going to have to develop a special sensitivity to insensitive statements. Some of the holiday insensitive thoughts shared with grievers include “Your husband would have loved the outfit you are wearing tonight” – “You look so great tonight, it’s good you can set your grief aside” – “I imagine this time of year you’re glad you and your husband did not have children” – “What wonderful and exciting things do you have planned for the holidays?” – And perhaps one of the worse, “I am so glad uncle Bert is not here this year. Last year he was so sick that he almost ruined all our fun. Besides, he is in a better place now.” I don’t know what insensitive statements you might encounter this holiday season. What many people think is a comforting, perhaps even humorous thought, most often is not. One important consideration is that most people are sincere in trying to encourage you, and may not recognize their statement as insensitive. A second consideration is that some people just honestly do not know what to say. They feel awkward with a “Merry Christmas” or other popular holiday greeting, so they simply blurt something out. Third, they do not want to remind you of your sorrow during the holidays. There are as many reasons as there are insensitive statements. You have to accept the holiday greeting at face value, recognizing that at least they tried to say something. A lot of people do not know what to say and they will avoid you. “My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock, and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.” (Psalm 62:1-2) – Fran Welch
Posted on: Thu, 18 Dec 2014 20:00:01 +0000
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