 Healing from Aspergers Pastor Tim Cairns. Abermain, Hunter Valley – NSW Australia pstim@thevineyardscoc Hi Kathie, My wife, Tania, asked me to email you some info on healing from Asperger’s. Below is something I wrote to a person who is involved in Sozo training (as this healing came while using Sozo). There is more healing going on and some habit patterns I have to break but I am definitely much better than I was and I like how Tan’s and my relationship is improving. While I was having a Sozo session with Tania, I saw an image of myself with a vulture hovering over me, stabbing me time and time again, all over my body (looking back this makes sense as one of the symptoms of Asperger’s is an over-sensitivity to stimuli). Tania started praying about self mutilation, but I knew it wasn’t self. The vulture then stabbed the knife into my head, straight into my brain. That was when we realized for certain that this vulture was associated with Aspergers. Jesus then came and bought healing to the wounds, but the picture changed to a whole line of men and at the end of the line the vulture stood, towering above the men. It looked like a god. I forgave down the generations and broke the ties, coming out of agreement with it and Jesus stepped up to the vulture and grabbed it, snapping its neck. I have never seen Jesus be violent in a vision before so this took me by surprise. I know He overturned the tables and whipped the money changers and I know that some descriptions of God in His righteous anger are quite violent, but I just hadn’t seen it. Jesus then took His place at the head of my family line and called forth the generational blessings for my family. My family, down both sides has had strong connections with freemasonry and druidism. Apparently, links can be made between these and ancient Egyptian religion. The next day I thought I would look up what the emblem of the vulture could mean, so I jumped on Google and searched for vulture emblem. One of the sites said that the vulture was found on Tutankhamen’s headpiece, alongside a snake (cobra or asp). It was quite common for pharaoh’s to have those symbols on their headpieces. The vulture was a symbol representing one of the goddesses of protection (I would notice that the Asperger’s would become more noticeable when I felt threatened). The snake symbol was representing the pharaoh’s divinity (one symptom of Asperger’s is egocentrism, which makes the person with Asperger’s feel everything is about them, unless it is something bad, in which case it is someone else’s fault). I hadn’t known anything about this until after receiving ministry, so I was amazed to find this out. Here are some of the differences: 1. I am more aware of the temperature, particularly the cold (I would walk around the house in shorts, t-shirt and no shoes in the middle of winter). Now I wake up if my arm is out from under the blankets at night. 2. I am able to filter out background noise and conversations. I used to hear every conversation and noise that was going on around me. The kids in class, when I was teaching used to hate it. I was at a restaurant one time with Tania and I was able to tell her what conversation was occurring at every table across the room. I didn’t want to hear, I just couldn’t filter it out. It was very tiring going out in public simply because of the sensory overload. Now I don’t hear conversations unless I actually focus on them. 3. If I knew I was going somewhere I would be meeting people, I would prepare scripts in my head for conversations. I am now script free. Conversations are spontaneous. 4. Conferences were a nightmare. Loud music, flashing lights, social interaction, late nights, information overload. Usual result would be that I would flip out and Tania would get shouted at, I would take everything the wrong way and it would be made torture for Tania. She hated going to conferences with me. The last conference I was in a better condition than Tania was. I spoke to people I didn’t know and had no prepared speech to follow. 5. I can get by with much less sleep. One, maybe two bad nights and I would start to Aspie up. I was very unpleasant to be around. 6. I would always be on the defensive, even while being intimate. I can now allow myself to be vulnerable. 7. I would have to analyse a social setting to work out what to do or say to be socially acceptable. Each setting was different and I would have to draw on memories of past experiences to tell me what I should be doing in each situation. The other day I went to put some DVD’s into the return slot and someone was standing in front of it. Before I would have stopped, because I hadn’t expected the person to be there. I would have had to think about what I was meant to do in that situation. I would have to speak to someone I didn’t know how they would respond. I would go on the defensive, I would get an angry face and have a rough tone in my voice. This would usually scare people a bit. I wouldn’t mean to, but I couldn’t help it. This time I just walked straight up to the slot, excused myself and put the DVD’s in. The lady smiled at me and I noticed my face felt strange. I had smiled and hadn’t realised it. I hadn’t forced myself to smile, it had just happened naturally. Most people would think that it’s strange me being happy about that, but then, they don’t know Asperger’s. 8. I can laugh at myself. 9. I can mow the lawns and feel satisfied about the job instead of being angry that I had to do it and it was just something that stopped me from doing what I wanted to do. 10. I can experience empathy. I had been able to project people into my shoes before. This means that I could understand how I would feel when someone went through a situation that I had been through before and I would assume that they felt the same. Sometimes I was right. What I couldn’t grasp was that someone might feel different to me even if the situation they went through was nearly identical to the one I went through. If I hadn’t experienced it, then I had no idea how they would feel, except for when I remembered what other people had expressed to me when they went through similar circumstances. Just the other day, someone was speaking about a certain thing and the facts they said were wrong. In the past I would have corrected them because they were wrong, and also because it made me look bad. Instead I stayed quiet and a short while later I just knew that the person was feeling insecure and what they said was to establish a sense of authority for themselves. They were not running me down or making me look bad. In fact it had nothing to do with me. That was the first time I had experienced true empathy. 11. I can’t hide inside myself anymore. 12. I can experience multiple emotions at one time and I am beginning to identify them. 13. I am able to see when I do something wrong and I can apologize and mean it. 14. I don’t sulk for days on end when I don’t get my own way. 15. I am able to emotionally connect with Tania now. Also letting you know that Tania had a vision of me with bats all around me. We looked at the dreams and visions book and it spoke, among a number of things of a blind spirit, associated with occult. This jumped out at me even though I wouldn’t have though it would. We prayed in this area and I realised that they caused a blinding of the conscience and of things that are inappropriate. I have often heard of people speak about that part of them that says, ‘Whoa, don’t do that, it’s wrong.’ I have never experienced that. I have a mental understanding that certain behaviours are wrong either because I was punished for it or I read about it in the Bible. There was never any internal guidance in this area. I believe that this has changed, which makes Tan able to relax more when I preach, because she isn’t worried I’ll say or do something inappropriate. There are other things that are happening but I am taking some time getting used to them and sometimes I don’t notice that it’s happened for a while, but that is a good list to start with. The list probably doesn’t mean much to a person who doesn’t know much about Asperger’s. A person who has Asperger’s would find some of these things difficult to relate to because it has only been since I am free of it that I can see how I truly behaved. These behaviours were very obvious to Tania, but I just couldn’t see it. To be honest, it was only when God allowed me to see what I was doing to my family that I really got serious about being set free. I wanted some of the behaviours to stop, but a lot of the time, I didn’t see it as my fault. I felt that if my family could just see things from my perspective, they would understand that they were in the wrong, and they shouldn’t do the things they had. I couldn’t see there was something wrong with me and the way I related to my family. I couldn’t see it was my fault and I needed to change. But God showed me and He has set me free. Pastor Tim Cairns. Abermaine NSW Australia pstim@thevineyardscoc
Posted on: Tue, 04 Mar 2014 06:57:13 +0000
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