“Jesus said to the crowds, ‘The Kingdom of heaven is like…’” “Can you pay the cost?” A question posed to me during one of my seminary entrance interviews, and it was posed to me by Fr Ignatius Huan. “Can you pay the cost?” For some reason or other, and possibly coming from the working world, and thinking I was asked whether I could bear the cost of seminary studies, I asked in return, “But Father, since I won’t be working, how can I possibly self-finance my seminary studies?” Father Huan, looking a bit amused and also annoyed at the same time, said, “I am not asking whether are you able to pay for your studies, but whether are you able to pay the cost, the cost of discipleship, of following Jesus? In simple terms, can you sign a blank cheque, and allow God to fill in the amount?” Can you pay the cost? Can you sign a blank cheque, and allow God to fill in the amount? These two questions got me thinking then and still do today and I hope it will for you as well. “The Kingdom of Heaven is like… a treasure hidden in a field… a merchant looking for fine pearls… a dragnet.” Whenever Jesus speaks of the Kingdom of Heaven, it seems he is almost speaking of it in an exclusive earthly dimension that is bound by time and space, but it is not. Rather the Kingdom of Heaven is and more accurately translated, means the Reign of God. The parables of the sower, the wheat and the darnel we heard for the past two Sundays are more than attempts telling us how to lead our lives and to guard ourselves against the influence of the world or how powerful and cunning the Evil One can be in our lives and the situations that we are in. These parables, coupled with what we hear today is not to give credit to the world, but really to show how much the Reign of God extends into our world, permeates into our society and fabric of life that even the Evil One is but subjected to God’s reign. God’s Kingdom has no end and will be victorious in all things. After my interview with Fr Huan, the sense of directions didn’t get any easier for me, and as a matter of fact, I was thrown off the track so as to speak. I know what I am capable of giving up, which is more than what I am giving up now, and I know what lies in store for me with my Yes and signing on the dotted line of the blank cheque. But I am afraid. Why? Because I do not like nor fancy the idea of not being in control. I rather reign in my vocation the way I want it, rather than allowing the reign of God to reign in my life. We all know what is best, and we all know what God offers us; the treasure in the field, the ultimate fine pearl. These are not mere things to be enjoyed but are promises that are out of this world, but our needs, our senses are conditioned and dulled by our wounded nature that tends to say, “Lord, I know it is good, but maybe not yet.” or in the famous words of St Augustine, “Lord, make me holy, make me chaste, but just not yet.” As I was walking out of the seminary after my interview with Fr Huan, it started drizzling heavily, and I didn’t have my umbrella with me. It was humid, and I was drenched, the scene is almost like a scene from the Korean or Taiwanese drama serials, the part where the guy is jilted by the girl, with rain and thundering here and there. Yet what was even more drenched was my spirit, not by the hard words of Fr Huan, but by the wonder and questioning whether can I be a true disciple. Can I be like the merchant who “goes off happy, sells everything he owns and buy(s) the pearl”? In today’s third parable of the dragnet, we tend to focus on the part, “the fishermen haul it ashore; then sitting down, they collect the good ones in the basket and throw away those that are not in use.” We know that this particular verse reminds us of the eventual judgment that we will all undergo at the end of time, and sadly though, this seems like what we are preoccupied about. Why? Perhaps because we have that inner fear of what is uncertain at the end of time. However, the verse prior to this holds more if not the most significance for us. “the kingdom of heaven is like a dragnet cast into the sea that brings in a haul of all kinds.” This verse is actually a verse of hope. There is no such thing as bad people. God created all things to be good and He created all people bound for heaven. In short, the fact that we are here, God predestines all of us for heaven. We hear it in today’s Second reading and it is worth repeating it in full here: “We know that by turning everything to their good, God co-operates with those who love him, with all those he has called according to his purpose. They are the ones he chose specially long ago and intended to become true images of his Son, so that his Son might be the eldest of many brothers. He called those he intended for this; those he called he justified, and with those he justified he shared his glory.” We are the people he called intentionally, we are the people chosen for his intent, and we are the people justified and save through grace. However, there are people who decisively reject this grace; to choose evil over good, badness over goodness, death over life, hell over heaven. God gave us freedom, God gave us freewill, a freedom and a freewill that is meant for excellence, but sadly, some of us choose otherwise, despite being called “friends because everything have been made known to us.” Yet, I also believe that we do not really choose death over life consciously but rather unconsciously, which if not guarded against and set right, it will over time become a conscious decision, dulled by the many wrong decisions that ultimately contribute to our alignment with the reign of death rather than the reign of God. In addition to our busyness and a life that has worldly barnacles being added daily onto our being, we tend to say to ourselves, “I will pursue this great treasure, this fine pearl only after I have achieve the goals I had set for myself in life.” or “Lord, I do not think that I am worthy of this great treasure, this fine pearl, let me prepare myself till I am more holy so that I may be worthy.” The first statement smacks of spiritual assumption that we still have time, and the latter statement speaks of a escapist spiritual pride. The fact that the Lord has cast out the dragnet, the net of His grace, is an invitation to us to response to His grace in our lives and at where we are. Our discipleship is not grounded in a fairytale like setting, waiting for everything to be picture perfect before we put our hand on the plow, but it is grounded in the reality of where we are living. It means that we response with whatever the Lord has grace us with at this point of time. If we are a husband and father, we respond as husbands and fathers; if we are teachers, we response as teachers; if we are NSman, we response as NSman. By responding to grace, we ask God for the grace to build on our nature, and nurture us to become his sons and daughters, his disciples. We cannot drag our feet and wait to get rid of the “so-called old self” before embracing the “new self”, because chances are, that day will never come. Imagine, Fr Richards, Fr Peter, or I, waiting for that ultimate day when we would become a “new-self” and thereafter enter the seminary or go into the mission field, I tell you solemnly, if that is the case, then that day will never come. But the truth is this, we, who are imperfect men, responded as perfectly as we could, because we recognize that it is grace that called us, it is grace that beckoned us, and it is grace that saves us. Not that our ministry is not important, not that our being is not worth anything, but because of who Jesus is in our lives, we respond. As will be beautifully prayed in our Prayer over the Offerings later, “that through the powerful working of your grace these most sacred mysteries may sanctify our present way of life.” My brothers and sisters! We are graced! We are sanctified! We are set apart for God! We are people of hope! We have hope! We bring the who we are into what we do. Imperfect as who we are, and self-centred in what we do, yet these if we offer to God, his grace can transform it. Our discipleship, our entry into the reign of God is not something that will happen or waiting to happen, but it is already happening. What we give is never out of a vacuum, but what we offer is here and now, what is real in where we were, where we are and where we will be as grace calls us. For indeed, “every scribe who becomes a disciple of the Kingdom of heaven is like a householder who brings out from his storeroom things both new and old.” I guess I had a great problem with Fr Ignatius Huan’s questions of “Can you pay the cost?” and “Can you sign a blank cheque, and allow God to fill in the amount.” because I thought I had to jettison everything in my former life to follow him. I do have things to throw away, but only the things that prevented me from clinging onto Jesus and cluttering my spiritual life. It was still drizzling heavily as I arrived at Holy Trinity Church for evening mass after the interview, and I wasn’t really paying attention, and I was feeling cold and dread the walk home later. However, after mass, as I walked out of church, the drizzle had stopped and a gentle cool breeze met my face, and in the distance I saw an evening rainbow. I was filled with delight and with hope. Let your love be ready to console me by your promise to your servant. Let your love come and I shall live for your law is my delight. Your will is wonderful indeed; therefore I obey it. The unfolding of your word gives light and teaches the simple. Rise; let us be on our way! (Homily given at Holy Cross Church for the 17th Ordinary Sunday - 27 July 2014)
Posted on: Sun, 27 Jul 2014 09:52:56 +0000
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