“LINGERING AMONGST THE MYTHOLOGY OF A LONG REMEMBERED SMILE…” Recently I discovered that time has not been kind to me As I fell head first into the hockas-laced descend downwards through the bottomless spirals of the blindingly seductive rabbit hole of “what if” It was then that I cursed old lady luck and felt angry for the shitty hand that she had dealt me Lost in an evening highlighted by glasses of Cuban Rum and the last of the fine Cuban cigars that I smuggle across the border It was then that the guru’s words (originally lost on me) rushed into the wounded void and as I had once before experienced out on the open road to Damascus As it was then, so as it is now, although they were wildly different venues but the shack cloth still fits as the truth that rains down on me not as expensive, scented ash but, rather it clumped down as dollar store purchased ashes, Out of the wilderness of my empty soul, in a booming voice, reality spoke slowly and clearly “That boat had a long time ago sailed” …And I was handily reminded that I had freely cast up my lot to the alter upon which old lady luck ruled, begging her to erase the pain of that long remembered smile (Indeed) I had truly stranded my own self up here upon this far distant shore to live amongst the pages of La Confession de foi des Mennonites… Ego be dammed… along with my half-hearted effort to fraying attempts to regain a hold on my ragged reality of truth not tainted by that most potent opiate of “what if?” …And all that is left, on this frost early dawn, is me, I am left alone as the crowd has long since thinned out and alone here I sit and pretend my pondering “what was I thinking?” “What have I done?” The reality was nothing, I hadnt and didnt as that was the bag of the mantra of my being raised by the wolves of “been there…done that…” and sadly, regrettably, as with any other opiates, the power of “What if” fails me too and it waves me on as it swiftly faded into the light of the first rays of the upcoming day…and a distant bell rang calling me to yet another day of my ritual, zombie obedience to reality that has never been tainted by the opiates… - EMIL WEST
Posted on: Sun, 27 Oct 2013 13:55:36 +0000
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