. Never Lend Money To A Woman My eyes itched as I wiped my face. My hands passed in the area of my nose. I smelled the rancid liquid. It was stale urine. The scent was as if it had come from a decayed animal. No, this person could not have been alive. The basin struck me in my head almost stunning me. A few drops went in my mouth. I swallowed it. Yes, that was the payment I received when I went that night to collect the five hundred dollars which I had lent Claudette. It was the 20th of December, the day civil servants normally get paid. Claudette had been a pain in my neck for the last five days. She wanted me to lend her some money. I persistently tried to dodge her for the longest while. I had given her all sorts of excuses. Yet, to no avail; that morning, she stood at the roadside and deliberately caught the same van that I was in and proceeded to follow me into the bank. Upon receiving my money from the bank, Claudette begged me so pitifully that it broke my heart. She told me that her landlord was about to evict her and that was her only hope. On the other hand, Claudette was employed at the same institution where I worked. Her lifestyle portrayed her as a lady of great worth. Of all the girls at my workplace, she was “Miss hard to get”. In fact, her salary was greater than mine. Hence, I wondered why she had this great need for money. The truth is, Claudette was the best dressed woman on the Job. She dressed far better than the boss. She wore panty hose stockings all the time. She had a matching bag and a pair shoes for every dress. Her hair was always properly done. Claudette lips were as red as crimson and whenever she opened her mouth; it was always the Queen’s polished English. There were times when I watched Claudette and simply lusted at her. Sadly, Claudette was living beyond her means. Putting all this aside, I really would have preferred not to have lent her the money. At the same time, her pretty looks, smooth skin and sweet talks dictated otherwise. It would have certainly been a shame to refuse to lend such a beauty Five hundred dollars. And, as if by chance, she had become quite sweet with me recently. Since I lent her the money, she had started calling me names such as love, honey, darling and many more. Of course, these names were pleasing to an ugly, big fat, big belly, womanless man like me. Looking back at the folly of my actions, I later realized that the decision to lend Claudette this money had long been made. I was only making old style fooling myself pretending to be dodging and giving excuses. For a couple weeks I enjoyed all of that. But my light and cable bills kept mounting up to the point where they were disconnected. I desperately wanted the money; hence I decided to approach her and requested my money. Almost immediately, her likeness for me disappeared. It was there I heard how bad minded I was, and, it was because she had not given me the thing that I had asked her for, that I wanted back the money. After some negotiations, I was instructed to come to her home at exactly 8 o clock in the night and knock three times on the back door. Upon the third knock, the money would be presented to me. This surely sounded good to me. I honestly believed that Claudette was going to give me the money, along with a big “Thank You” for the period of time which I have waited. That afternoon, I left work earlier than usual, I went to the barber to cut my hair. I bathed about three times. I put on the sweetest perfume that I had and brushed my teeth about three times all in preparation for the Grand Thank You. At exactly 8 o clock , I knocked on Claudette’s back door. I knocked once, twice, then, on the third knock, the door opened with all its fury. A large white basin flew through the door way and connected in my forehead sending me speechless to the ground. As I lay on the ground a strange offensive odor came to my nose. It was that of human waste . I was fully baptized at a cost of five hundred dollars . I had learnt my lesson well. Never lend money to a woman.
Posted on: Sun, 03 Aug 2014 02:12:43 +0000
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