“No. It’s not painful. It’s like drowning, but everyone else around you is perfectly breathing. It’s numbness. it feels as if you’re not loved, like you can’t be saved from it. It’s a darkness. It continually pulls you into death, and there’s no escaping it. No air to breathe, just complete and utter darkness. Sometimes you just feel like crying and crying, even though you don’t have a reason to. It makes you feel dead. You don’t feel any emotion. You just kinda sit there and wait for death to come, in a way, and put you out of your misery. It has gotten to the point, to where, if there was a car coming straight towards you..you wouldn’t run, scream, or cry, you would just stand there numb, waiting for the impact. You don’t want to talk to anyone, because they don’t get it. Sometimes you sit there contemplating your own suicide. Everyday is an inner battle with your demons, and every single Goddamn day they win. It makes you feel worthless and you feel like you’re dying every single day you live. It hurts. It hurts so bad when people tell you, that everything is going to be ‘alright’, when you obviously know it’s not. Everyday is lie after lie, telling people ‘I’m fine’ or ‘I’m okay’, when emotionally and literally I’m broken. and you wonder why bad things happen to good people. It even make you think that it’s okay to harm yourself in order to forget about the current pain. And the worst part about it all, is knowing you did the best you could, to stay happy, positive or alive, even if it was fake, and it still wasn’t enough.. That’s what depression feels like.”
Posted on: Sat, 01 Nov 2014 12:54:01 +0000
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