“Nung una kitang nakita gusto kitang sipain.” Every time I saw you, ^ that would be the first thing that would pop into my head and trust me- we saw each other VERY often because we revolve on the same circles- same college, same program and we enter the same rooms on different schedules. Pero honestly, ang angas kasi ng itsura mo, laging naka busangot. Nakaka asar kaya! Tapos you have this look na nakaka intimidate. So it makes me wonder what youd look like if I kick your balls. Weird, right? Its not like youre my ex or anything(this has nothing to do with revenge or shit hahaha), parang blind hatred lang and for the sake of my curiosity. DISCLAIMER: I never got to kick you err.. anywhere. But, something kind of unexpected happened. Nagkaron tayo ng interaction. Sa tatlong lalaki na nasa harap ko nung tinatanong ko yung number ng blockmate niyo, ikaw ang nag accomodate sa akin and I thought, maybe youre not as bad as you look(dont get me wrong, hindi siya mukhang gangster o jejemon. In fact, may pagka famous si Kuya so assume niyo na that hes quite attractive.) Dahil lang dun kaya nagbago yung impression ko sayo. The next day (which was the first day of Research week) nagka-salubong tayo and for some unknown reason, you smiled at me. I smiled back out of courtesy. Then, something even more unexpected happened bes]cause that interaction was followed by another just because of this song by Vance Joy, we clicked! Riptide was our ice breaker at parang in a snap, super close friends na tayo. I got to know you and I discovered we had a lot of things in common. For starters, were both into music and wow, youre really talented. Ang dami mong instrument na kayang i-play. Were both into sports. Parang ang galing mo sa lahat ng bagay kahit hindi mo sinusubukan. I envy your skills in graphic arts/design and your works and plates sa iba pa nating subjects and our course really requires lots of time, patience and effort(Jusko, Multimedia pa naman HAHA! So many sleepless night huhu) Anyway, walang dull moments pag tayo yung magka-usap, walang awkward. I used to think you were arrogant, typical snobby rich kid na puro pa-cool lang pero hanggang porma lang pala (I blame wattpad fiction novels for this) but when I got to know you, man.. I realized I was wrong and Im sorry if I judged you for what you looked like. Ganun lang kasi talaga ang aura mo. Truth is, I know it might be too soon to say this but youre an amazing guy. Youre the kind of person who isnt difficult to fall in love with(platonic and non-platonically speaking). From the moment I got to know who you really were, I guess na-realize ko na I wanted to be the kind of person you know you couId always count on and I wanted to take care of you every chance I could get.. And weeks after, I DID become your personal nurse. You were hospitalized because of a critical condition and you have no idea how scared I was when I found out. Anyway, matagal ko ng na-discover yung reason behind my blind-hatred for you which is.. gusto kitang kilalanin ng sobra because I was so intrigued by you. I wanted to be able to understand you, I wanted to get to know you despite hating you at first sight. As clichè as it sounds.. Yes, I liked you. Why past tense you may ask? Kasi eto na, nahulog na si tanga haha. Oo, I accept defeat. Im in love with you, Julian. Walang halong biro. But Im scared, too. Hindi naman bago sa akin yung ma-attach sa isang tao almost too quickly.. kaya nga lagi akong nasasaktan eh pero iba ngayon. Iba sayo. I dont want you to end up as my mistake. I dont want you to be one of the guys I loathe because youll leave me in pieces just like the others. I dont wanna lose you, simple as that. Nung sinabi sa akin ng friends mo that youre the best guy Ill ever meet, I doubted that for a second. But now, I know for sure that theyre not mistaken but having said that mas hindi ko maiwasan na isipin na I dont deserve someone. Im one gigantic mess and youre just too good for me. Its only been a few months but youve already managed to make my life better. Honestly, Ive been distant to the people I care about but when I met you, I closed that gap. Every day with you is the best and Ive never been happier. I cant thank you enough for changing me and making me a better person. Alam ko naman that Im not the only one who likes/loves you and Im not sure how this would end but Ive decided to pursue whatever comes after. If our friendship is the limit, if you dont feel the same way or if this isnt something that would last “forever” its ok. Unang-una, satisfied na ako na kahit papaano nasabi ko sayo. Im already very happy I had the privilege of meeting you, becoming friends with you and being close enough. I think we should spend time appreciating what we already have instead of demanding for something more. Minsan pag nagde-demand kasi tayo ng sobra, minsan mas nawawala pa lalo sa atin. Pangalawa, Im not one of those people who are obsessed with the idea of forever.. Mas naniniwala kasi ako na mas importante ang experience and if its something real and long-term, thats just as good as forever, right? Maybe thats as close as well ever get. Who knows? :) -Bittersweet CEAT 2014
Posted on: Fri, 23 Jan 2015 13:04:24 +0000
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