#Philosophy The lord of the (wedding) ring: A topic that has me thinking for quite some time now is the wedding ring and the ethical implications of this symbolic device. What does a wedding ring do? More in particular, why does this symbol leave me cautious and apprehensive? I think I found an answer to this question. In the every day understanding of the wedding ring both spouses, or fiancees, or boyfriend/girlfriend wear them and they symbolise the bond between the two persons. However, in practice it is the man giving the ring to his woman upon his proposal. She accepts the ring. His ring is a less potent symbol than hers, usually hers is also more worked on, sometimes set in with precious stones. What does the ring do? Apart from symbolising the bond, the act of giving and receiving the ring has great implications for the power relations between the two parties involved. To the outside world she signals herself as taken, but it also heightens her desirability. The ostentatious quality of the ring determined by its preciousness signifiy that she is desirable, someone worthwhile to have, someone to make a sacrifice for. Accordingly, she sends mixed signals, I am not free, but I am a desirable gift to have. I have someone to sacrifiice himself for me. She will therefore be more, not less desirable for other men. That is no problem in itself. As a man you take pride in having a desirable woman.However, she has gained another important trump card. The ring is a tie that bind but she can decide when to wear it and when to take it off. Taking it off becomes a signal that she no longer considers himself connected and your sacrifice has not been worthwhile. With one very simple movement she can negate your sacrifice and make it meaningless. After the ring is given, the giver is at the mercy of the other. The ring signifies a bond as long as it is considered worthwhile to have it. The moment it is given, it is a weapon that is easy to use. The outside world, including other men, will notice that the ring is gone and she is free. That in the eyes of many men is forboding thought and it means that he will have to make sure the ring does not come off. How can he do that? Only one option, more sacrifices. So after the ring is given power relations are altered. The giver thinks he forged a bond, but in fact he forged the possibility of its undoing. The wearer of the ring in fact obtains freedom while the giver is the one that is bound. With this short idea, I hope to have made explicit an intuition that has been nagging me for a long while. I am interested in what others think. Regards, Tobias
Posted on: Tue, 02 Dec 2014 14:22:23 +0000
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