..... Phone call just now ..... me .....Hello. [I never give my name as this has caused problems in the past. If theyre phoning me, they should know who I am.] Hello. [Now Im sensing the onset of annoyance in my belly.] Can I help you? Ive got a delivery for you. Can you tell me where you live?. Is our address not on the parcel? Yes, it is, but I dont know where that is. I DESPAIR. The carrier is ONLY the nationwide CITYLINK company, one of the UKs largest, . You WOULD have thought that basics such as, oh, I dont know, maybe HOW TO FIND OUT WHERE SOMEONE LIVES would have been covered in the training of new employees, but apparently not. Anyway ..... we went through the whole Presumably youre not using a SatNav? Oh yeah, Im using a SatNav, but youre not where it says you should be. By then, Id realised that it was probably going to be infinitely less problematic for me if I moved house to a location with which the numptee WAS familiar, but I guessed that he wouldnt even be capable of that, either. What road are you in at the moment? Youre in Brierley Hill, arent you? [OK, so NO marks at all for not answering my question, but full marks for being able to read 60% of our address correctly, but again, no marks for omitting 30% of our address]. You live in The Laurels, dont you? [Again, full marks for being able to read 30% of the first line of our address, combined with sheer genius at turning it into a plural, but no marks at all for not allowing us to live on a FARM]. We live at Laurel Farm, which is presumably what youve got on the label? Yes, but where is it? Can you tell me how to find you? [By this time, thinking to myself that this conversation could quite easily occupy me full time until the end of my life.] Do you know what road youre in? Yeah, Im in Brierley Hill. Beginning to lose the will to live. Its not BRIERLEY Hill, its BRIERTEY Hill LANE. But at least youre in the right lane. Were at the junction of Briertey Hill Lane and Maple Brook Lane, and our farm name is LAUREL FARM, and the name is on the front wall. Wheres that? Somebody hand me a dagger. Its the lane youre in and its the lane we live in ..... at the junction of Maple Brook Lane. But wheres your house? Thats what I just told you. The name of the farm is on the front wall. Oh, its allright, your husbands just put something in the bin by your front gate so Ill give him the parcel. I SIMPLY CANT COMPREHEND HOW HE COULD HAVE BEEN SITTING IN HIS TRUCK RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE GIANT NAME PLATE ON OUR FRONT WALL DURING THE ENTIRE CONVERSATION. Is it just me that despairs for the future of the human race? Running off into the distance, screaming loudly .....
Posted on: Fri, 19 Dec 2014 14:52:46 +0000