**SHARING** Stand Strong, Sleep Sweet I am standing stronger. It is such a great feeling. To see on the other side of the storm, priceless. I do not sleep sweet. Too many nights are still clogged with unwelcomed dreams of him. If I wake for just a second and am conscious, he creeps into my thoughts. I do not know which one is worse. The dreams can be all over. Some kind, some crazy and some abusive. A lot of them deal with him letting me down in a variety of ways and my having to deal with it. I never saw it as letting me down, I saw it as I have to deal with him and not make him upset, even though I was upset, but I would figure out a way to make it happen. This always meant second or even third best. I lived with it, but it was part of the shaving away of my worth. The conscious thoughts of him during the night are lasting. Dreams sometimes stay of the fringe of your memory, not quite clear. Those awake moments in the darkness when I am very aware of the damage he did and will continue to do, haunt me. I want to make it right, figure out a way to deal with it, even second or third best, but there is not a way to right this evilness. I know that in the middle of the night, but for a brief second, I think everything will be okay. I can make him understand, he will know how he hurt those who loved him, and he will make it right. Awe, but that is where the dream comes in again, I am awake, not dreaming, there is no happy ending with him. I am aware of this, but my soul still seeks, in that space between dreaming and consciousness, to right the wrong.
Posted on: Thu, 18 Sep 2014 13:38:06 +0000
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