~~Saturday. No Hitches~~ Saturday was another overcast, chilly day & filled with lots of hustle from start to finish. Out the door to feed some hay to the pairs worked on Friday. What a rain soaked day Friday was. I was just glad Saturday was no where close to being as miserable as Friday. Cowdogs Hawk, Ducchess & Bandit loaded up on Ole Red the flatbed. We had our CIDR necessities and the mission was to gather up two more sets of pairs and CIDR the cows. The pairs gathered great. It actually went beyond great and hit fantastic. I manned the gates at the corral & trap. The cowdogs held the cows and calves and I let the cows into the corral from one pasture and the second set of cows came into the trap. We left the calves behind in the pastures. Only one calf got passed me and came on in with cows. Gave the N set of cows some range cubes and worked the S cows 1st. It was like night & day from Fridays constant rain to Saturdays just dreary. That just dreary was like a vacation...let me tell ya, vacation. There was no rammin jammin. Well, except for 6409s antics. Not sure what has happened to this 4 yr. old but she is a canine hater anymore. Im guessing her hateful attitude is due to a couple of rottweilers terrorizing her a year ago when she calved. That, and the pesky hybrid canines. She is flat wicked now and her calf never leaves her side. So that is a sign of the calf learning to stay glued to mom when mom gives that bugling, blood curdling bawl. That was the calf the came on in with the cows. I hit a sort of personal milestone on Saturday. It has been 4 years since I had to watch my beloved Bert move on to heaven. A long 4 years of grief, internal struggles with deep sadness and kicked out from under me times. Saturday, we were working 4 head at a time down the alley, CIDR, Ovacyst and turn out into a pen. With each 4 head done, I would open the pen gate and let the cows stroll back on out to their calves in the pastures. The cowdog trio would come from their side of the alley & chute and wait to see if I needed the cows brought to the gate. Generally, the cows would see me open the pasture gate and just come on. If they didnt just come on then the cowdogs would trot around in behind them and walk them on to the gate. When the cows would get to the gate the cowdogs would trot back to their side of the chute & alley and wait for me so that we could get 4 more cows from the holding pen. If I needed to wash my CIDR applicators up and reload then the cowdogs would simply watch me & wait until I reached down to pick up the sorting whip...their sign that it was time to go get more cows. It was on one of the trips to turn the cows out to the pasture that I turned around after chaining the gate and about 15 feet from me stood Bandit. Clearly watching me, head up, paying attention and just watching my back, waiting to make sure that I did not need his help. When I turned around and saw the look on Bandits face I saw Bert. That same watching over me, I got your back, I am here look that I always knew was there with Mr. Bert. I was so caught off guard that I was stopped in my tracks. Motionless. It was a staring look between Bandit & me. He just stared. I welled up into tears. I looked squarely at Bandit and said, Bandit? Thank you. He stood there, looking at me and he let his ears relax from upright to flat against his head, smiled at me, blinked his eyes in a soft & loving way and said, I love you too. He turned around and trotted back to Hawk & Ducchess and the trio trotted back down their side of the chute and alley and waited for me at the gate at the end of the alley. I know it doesnt make much sense to anyone but me, but that moment in time was like a milestone for me. You know that saying, I saw God today? Well, I saw Bert in that moment of watchfulness from Bandit. By God, I was overcome with 4 years of grief and heartache and had an, Oh my God...its Bert moment. It was the 1st time in 4 years that I felt a passage away from the emptiness. A milestone. A slippage from the chains of sorrow. As we travel the years of our life we experience lots of feelings. Some of those feelings are like a trap that never lets go. I think I may have felt the greatest trap of my life releasing me from the hold of sorrow. You know it when you feel it. ~Pretty humbling.
Posted on: Mon, 08 Dec 2014 13:13:01 +0000
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