...Take heed what you say of your seniors, be your word spoken softly or plain, lest a bird of the air take the matter, and so you shall hear it again… Laws of the Navy - Reef Points 74 John Lucht adds - [this really can apply to any conversation in sales, jfb] AVOID BADMOUTH IDENTITY TRANSFER Heres a phenomenon you may not have thought of. But its real. And its extremely important to your success in business. Whenever you talk to someone about another person -- and especially if that person is in a role your listener can relate to -- your listener hears your comments as if they were about him or her. If you speak derisively about your current subordinates to a candidate youre trying to hire, dont be surprised if he or she doesnt sign on. If youre interviewing for a position and speak negatively about a current or former boss, dont be surprised if youre not hired. People are alert -- consciously and subconsciously -- for clues as to how youll think about and treat them if they become involved with you. The best evidence, of course, is what youre saying about others. Be careful. Youre saying him and her. Meanwhile, your listener -- considering your words and personally trying them on for size -- is hearing I and me. Yes, such a transference might be totally unfair. The person you describe may have dire failings that are well known to everyone who has ever had first-hand experience with him or her. But your listener has had no experience, one way or the other. So watch what you say. It absolutely must sound objective and reasonable. If it can also (when true) sound respectful, appreciative, loyal, and supportive, so much the better. COMMENTARY This Insight is about your listener subconsciously -- and even consciously -- inserting himself or herself into what you say about someone else. That really does happen. Keep it in mind in all your conversations. Above all, dont forget it when youre in an interview. Rites of Passage has a ton of suggestions and rules in Chapter 16 on Interviewing. One of the many items is a list of 11 Wrong Answers that an interviewer -- or even an employment psychologist -- is likely to be fishing for. Since I couldnt possibly tell you all the QUESTIONS you might be asked, I developed this list of ANSWERS you must avoid, no matter WHAT questions the interviewer uses to try to smoke them out of you. Consider this from the 11-item list and note how it relates to the Insight above: WRONG ANSWER: THERES MORE BAD THAN GOOD. Of all the wrong answers, this one fits more questions than any other. So many, in fact, that I cant even begin to think up enough examples to suggest its vast possibilities. However, the minute youre about to list attributes of anyone, anything, or any situation, be sure to ask yourself: How many good ones should I mention and how many bad ones? Decide shrewdly. Sometimes there should be lots of bad ones and hardly any good ones, as in the list of probable results you mention when your interviewer gets your reaction to an operating policy that verges on the unethical and illegal. But suppose he or she asks how you feel about your current job. Obviously, it fails to utilize your prodigious talents and energy level. But dont slip. Theres more good than bad; otherwise, the interviewer will expect you to be malcontent in his/her job, too. And in describing your current boss, theres probably a lot thats admirable, not just shortcomings; otherwise your interviewer envisions you talking negatively about him or her. Same with your reaction to the overall management of your current company. Some policies and approaches (which you will list) make lots of sense. However, certain key ones have serious disadvantages (obvious to any thinking person, including your interviewer). Needless to say, you also see far more advantages relative to disadvantages when asked how the job youre interviewing for fits your talents and aspirations, and how you fit the job. Same, too, when it comes to balancing the opportunities in contrast to the obvious problems facing the industry and company youre being interviewed for. Same goes for the U.S. and its business and other institutions, and on and on. Youre no Pollyanna. You can see defects and problems, analyze them accurately, and conceive and execute realistic and creative strategies for dealing with them. However, youre absolutely not one of those nattering nabobs of negativism Spiro T. Agnew warned us about. Before you face any interview, go back and read Chapter 16 of Rites of Passage again. Its one that the critics have liked especially and written a lot about ... mostly saying that youll be more relaxed and confident after youve viewed the process through eyes of an experienced recruiter. Warmest regards and best wishes, John
Posted on: Thu, 14 Nov 2013 11:24:55 +0000
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