* These are great ideas if youre bored with your standard pranks......got to keep that brain engaged... and laughter provides great endorphins.....so read on and enjoy!!! Some excellent and very creative ideas from a... RETIRED HUSBAND After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to our local Target store. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and out as quickly as possible. Equally unfortunately, my wife, like most women, loves to browse. Yesterday, my wife received the following letter from our local Target store’s Manager. Dear Ms. Harris: Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban him from the store. Our complaints against him are listed below and have been documented by our video surveillance cameras. 1. On June 15th he took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s shopping carts when they weren’t looking. 2. On July 2nd he set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. On July 7th he made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s washroom. 4. On July 19th he walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice: “Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away!” This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted in her filing a Union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the Company time and money. 5. On August 4th he went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M^Ms on layaway. 6. On August 14th he moved a “CAUTION: WET FLOOR” sign to a carpeted area. 7. On August 15th he set up a tent in the Camping Department and told children shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the Bedding Department, which 20 children eventually did. 8. On August 23rd, when a Clerk asked if she could help your husband, he began crying and screamed “Why can’t you people just leave me alone?” EMTs were called. 9. On September 4th he looked right into a security camera and used it as a mirror while picking his nose. 10. On September 10th, while handling guns in the Hunting Department, he asked the Clerk where the antidepressants were. 11. On October 3rd he darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the “Mission Impossible” theme. 12. On October 6th, in the Automobile Department, he practiced his “Madonna Look” by using different sizes of funnels. 13. On October 18th he hid in a rack of clothing and, when customers browsed through the clothing, he yelled “Pick Me! Pick Me! 14. On October 21, after an announcement was made over the PA system, he screamed in a loud voice “Oh no! It’s those voices again!” And, last but not least – 15. On October 23rd he went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, the yelled very loudly “Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here!” , causing one of the clerks to pass out.
Posted on: Mon, 07 Jul 2014 23:38:50 +0000
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