“Violence is not an action, but a motivation or an attitude itself. Sometimes a smile can be very violent.” XIV. Dalai Lama. What is Conflict? Conflict, like change, will always occur given the dynamics of human interactions. It will occur between family members, workers, colleagues, supervisors, boards of management in our work or play environments, between organizations and within organizations. Why is this? Because we all have different interests, goals, perceptions, viewpoints, values and experiences. The paradox of conflict is that it is both the force that can tear relationships apart and the force that binds them together, meaning that they can be either healthy (constructive) or unhealthy (destructive). This dual nature of conflict makes it an important concept to study and understand. It is normal for people to live and work well together to have conflicts from time to time. We disagree with each other because we each see the world differently, and we have different ideas about what we want and how to do things. Our individual and collective backgrounds and experiences, e.g. in cultural, spiritual, political and economical aspects, are different. Each and every one of us has a very different and unique personality. As human beings we don’t have a choice about whether conflict will happen in our lives……but we do have a choice about how we will deal with it!!! Five Basic Styles in Conflict Situations Giving In / Accommodating - LOSE / WIN - “I satisfy my needs at your expense.” Competition - WIN / LOSE -“I satisfy your needs at my expense.” Compromise - BOTH WIN A BIT / BOTH LOSE A BIT – “I give up some of my needs to satisfy you and you give up some of your needs to satisfy me.” Avoidance - LOSE / LOSE - “Neither you nor I satisfy our needs.” Co-operation - WIN / WIN - “We discover new and creative ways to satisfy both of our very important needs.” Different Behaviours in Conflict Handling: Avoidance - Party A does not value either his/her own or Party B’s interests and needs very highly, and/or denies that there is a conflict. Giving in / Accommodate - Party A does not value his/her own ideas and interests very highly, but places a high value on those of Party B (or the common goal). Competition - Party A places a very high value on his/her own opinions and desires, and very little on those of Party B. Compromise - The basic premise is that the parties differences cannot be reconciled and must therefore be traded off. Co-operation - Full value is placed on both parties’ interests, views and desires. Both parties appreciate each both and strive for consensus, i.e. agreement on the chosen course of action. In this way both parties feel satisfied, because their needs are met and the relationship is strengthened. Some useful Definitions Conflict - An issue between two or more parties who have (or think they have) incompatible goals or ideas. Conflicts may involve deep-rooted moral or value differences, high-stakes distributional questions, or can be about who dominates whom. Dispute - Short-term disagreements that are visible on the surface and relatively easy to resolve, because they involve interests that are negotiable. Disputes often exist within a larger, longer and more deep-rooted conflict. Conflict Prevention - To prevent a conflict from escalating violently or to take action before a violent outbreak of a conflict emerges. Conflict Settlement - The imposition of a settlement by a third party, for example through a Judge or an Arbitrator. Conflict Management - To regulate a conflict and to reduce its negative effects. Conflict Resolution - To address the underlying issues of a conflict and to focus on the relationship and communication between the parties. Conflict Transformation - To overcome the root and structural causes of conflict and to strengthen conflict solving capacities in individuals, communities and society.
Posted on: Fri, 04 Oct 2013 10:32:13 +0000
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