*** You Know Youre Not a Kid Anymore *** When... Youre asleep, but others worry that youre dead. * Your back goes out more than you do. * You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. * You buy a compass for the dash of your car. * You are proud of your lawnmower. * You call Olan Mills before they call you. * Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper. * You sing along with the elevator music. * You would rather go to work than stay home sick. * You constantly talk about the price of gasoline. * You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations. * You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. * People call at 9:00 pm and ask, Did I wake you? * You have a dream about prunes. * You answer a question with, Because I said so! * You send money to PBS. * You still buy records, and you think a CD is a certificate of deposit. * The end of your tie doesnt come anywhere near the top of you pants. * You take a metal detector to the beach. * You wear black socks with sandals. * You know what the word equity means. * You cant remember the last time you lay on the floor to watch television. * Your ears are hairer than your head. * You talk about good grass, and youre referring to someones lawn. * You get into a heated argument about pension plans. * You got cable for the weather channel. * You have a party, and the neighbors dont even realize it.
Posted on: Mon, 24 Mar 2014 05:47:57 +0000