Your Morning HAHA.... Who says cops dont have a sense of humor? The following were taken off of actual police car videos around the country. Relax, the handcuffs are tight because theyre new. Theyll stretch out after you wear them awhile. Take your hands off the car, and Ill make your birth certificate a worthless document. If you run, youll only go to jail tired. Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didnt know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun. So you dont know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh? Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I dont think it will help. Oh ... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor? Warning! You want a warning? O.K., Im warning you not to do that again or Ill give you another ticket. The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog? Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop. Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven. In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC. Just how big were those two beers? No sir we dont have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now were allowed to write as many tickets as we want. Im glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail. You didnt think we give pretty women tickets? Youre right, we dont. Sign here.
Posted on: Wed, 21 Jan 2015 14:31:37 +0000
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