1. Strong feelings do not necessarily make a strong character. The strength of a man is to be measured by the power of the feelings he subdues not by the power of those which subdue him. William Carleton (1794-1869) 2. In the middle of his sermon, the visiting Minster stopped, and called one of the ushers. He pointed to a man in the 5th row. That man is sound asleep, go and wake him. The usher shook his head and said, Wake him yourself, you put him to sleep! 3.. Little Johnny and his family lived in the country, and as a result, they seldom had guests. Johnny was eager to help his mother after his father appeared with two dinner guests from the office. When the dinner was nearly over, Little Johnny went to the kitchen and proudly carried in the first piece of apple pie, giving it to his father, who passed it to a guest. Little Johnny came in with a second piece of pie and gave it to his father, who again gave it to a guest. This was too much for Little Johnny, who said, Its no use, Dad. The pieces are all the same size. 4. Little Mary was at her first wedding and gaped at the entire ceremony. When it was over, she asked her mother, Why did the lady change her mind? Her mother asked, What do you mean? Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came back with another one. 5. A fresh-faced lad on the eve of his wedding goes to his mother with the following question. Mom, why are wedding dresses white? The mother looks at her son and replies, Son, this shows the town that your bride is pure. The son thanks his mom and goes off to double-check this with his father. Dad why are wedding dresses white? The father looks at his son in surprise and says, Son, all household appliances come in white. 6. Sometimes people carry to such perfection the mask they have assumed that in due course they actually become the person they seem. W. Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965) 7. Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her arithmetic classes: A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get? After a very long silence in the classroom, Little Morris raised his hand. The teacher called on Little Morris for his answer. With complete sincerity in his voice, Little Morris answered, A lawyer!
Posted on: Mon, 26 Jan 2015 07:27:14 +0000
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