1. Ulquiorra: biology Because he is very interested in the location of organs. Typical classroom moment: Ulquirroa: In today’s dissection, you will cut open the frog. And label the heart. Student: What about the other organs? Ulquiorra: The other organs do not matter. 2. Halibel: history She concentrates heavily on wars and the people who died in them. Typical classroom moment: Halibel: Your assignment this weekend is to make a list of everyone who was sacrificed to win the war. Student: That seems like it would take a very long time. Halibel: You must be willing to sacrifice your time and energy if you want to succeed in this class! 3. Szayel Aporro: chemistry He loves teaching his students how to make poisons and explosions. It’s very rewarding. Typical classroom moment: Szayel: Okay. Now watch. After I add this last vial, the exploding poison will be complete! «pours in vial. Concoction explodes» Szayel: And now I’m covered in poisonous goo. But it’s cool. I’ll be right back. I just have to eat one of my fracciones and also change clothes. 4. Barragan: physics Barragan cares a lot about time. And if I remember anything about high school physics, it’s that you were always using time in your equations. Barragan: For your assignment this weekend, take a piece of old fruit, put it in the sun, and watch it rot while contemplating your own mortality. (Brave) student: Um, sir, what does contemplating morality have to do with physics? Barragan: YOU MUST LEARN THAT EVERYTHING DIES. 5. Nnoitra: home ec With his six arms, Nnoitra is great at multi-tasking. He can iron, make a pie, change an infant’s diaper, AND answer the phone, all at once! On the other hand, he’s always complaining about how the home is a woman’s place and this shouldn’t be a man’s work. Typical classroom moment. Nnoitra: I mean, Neliel is a college professor. A college professor! And I’m stuck at some crappy high school. Does that seem fair? Student: Um, Mr. Nnoitra, what does that have to do with choosing the right laundry detergent? Nnoitra: I TOLD YOU NOT TO INTERRUPT MY MONOLOGUES 6. Yammy: head coach He’s a big fan of winning games by making the team really angry and then allowing them to vent on the field. Typical “classroom" moment: Yammy: Remember, the angrier you are, the bigger you get, and the bigger you get, the more you can pummel the other team to death! Student: We’re humans. We don’t actually get bigger with anger. Yammy: Wow. Humans totally suck. 7. Aaroniero: drama He’s really great a pretending to be someone he’s not. Typical classroom moment: Aaroniero: For your homework this afternoon, go find someone who’s recently lost a loved one. Try impersonating that loved one until your target becomes a broken shell of a person. Students: … Aaroniero: Just be careful! They may stab you. And being stabbed is no fun, let me tell you. 8. Zommari: math He has a bad habit of using his clones to demonstrate basic arithmetic. And also all of his tests are timed. Because being fast is more important than being right. Student: We only have 5 minutes for our final?! Zommari: If you had clones, you could just divide up the work. Sucks to be you, am I right?! 9. Grimmjow: guidance counselor Grimmjow is all about goals. All he wants to do is to finish his damn fight with Ichigo. Even if that takes two trips to the world of the living, breaking into Ulquiorra’s place, and stealing Orihime. Goals are important. Typical classroom moment: Grimmjow: So…basically you’re upset because the other students pick on you? (Teary-eyed) student: «nods» Grimmjow: Well, that’s just silly! Have you tried violence? 10. Starrk: English Every day he has the students bring in a book and do some silent reading while he naps. Typical classroom moment: Starrk: «zzzzzzz» Students: …um, do we have to be here?
Posted on: Fri, 12 Jul 2013 03:58:53 +0000
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