1. Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but well try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines. 2. Your seat cushions can be used for flotation, and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with you with our compliments. 3. As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses. 4. And from the pilot during his welcome message: Delta airlines is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight! 5. Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis whats left of our airplane to the gate Two man playing golf were held up by two women playing in front of them. One man said: Ill walk up to them and tell them to hurry up. When he returned he said: I have a problem, one of the women is my wife and the other one is my mistress. The second man said: Ill walk up to them and hurry them up. He came back and said: We both have the same problem.” Hawk and Tom were talking in the bar. Hawk said, I just got kicked off the course for breaking 60. Tom looked at him, amazed. Breaking 60? Thats amazing! Hawk smiled and said, Yeah, I never knew a golf cart could go that fast! Two aliens landed their ship on a golf course and watched a young man golfing. First he hit it into the high grass, mumbling and cursing he retrieved his ball. Then he hit it into the sand bunker shouting curse words he retrieved the ball. Next he hit a perfect hole in one, then the first alien said to the second, Uh-oh cover your ears hes going to be really mad now! Q. What game encourages drinking and driving? A. Golf Did you hear about the golfer trying to buy a new golf club? He looked at club after club after club. His friend asked him Why are you taking so long? He replied I am looking for a hole in one!
Posted on: Sun, 16 Mar 2014 05:32:29 +0000
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