1. You ascribe intent. We all do this to one degree or another. Realizing this, and fighting the urge, is how I got rid of my road rage. I still give in to it on occasion, but far less than I did seven years ago, and far less than ever before. 2. You’re the star of your own movie. I am the star of my own movie, and I dont think that should change. However, I am also the director. This movie is an improvisational one, with an ensemble cast. That means we are all writers. My job, as director, is to make choices for the actors. Being the star, most of those choices are for me. Sometimes I need to re-shoot a scene, or try different dialogue in response to my scene partners. Sometimes I have to limit the amount of screen time I share with those that I dont work well with. I welcome new characters, and I have started embracing plot twists. Thats good advice. Its still my movie, and I have to make choices for me. 3. You fast forward to apocalypse. This is called Anticipatory Anxiety. Ive noticed that it affexts insecure people more than confident people. I suffer from this in some small, but deeply impacting ways. Its hard to shed, until you defest some demons. 4. You have unrealistic and/or un-communicated expectations. Unmet expectations will be at the root of most of your unhappiness in life. Yep. My most successful moments have been unanticipated. This is why I counsel hopeful SAPA petitioners not to think about the audition process. Simply relax, play, and have a good time. If you develop a daydream or expectation of what will happen, youll likely restrict your thinking and have a harder time of it. I try to relax and just let things happen in every aspect of life. Patience and Forgiveness help, when dealing with others. 5. You are waiting for a sign. I tend to wait until the time is right. I dont look for signs, per se, but I think, Once I am done with [Project X], Ill have time for [Project Y], or, Once I have [Resource X], I can start working on [Project X]. When it comes to external motivations, I can adapt and overcome. When it comes to personal motivation, I find myself waiting for the right timing or resources. 6. You don’t take risks. Im not terribly good at this yet. 7. You constantly compare your life to others. For several years now, I have been undoing this thinking. My life is mine. My pain is mine. My troubles are mine. My pains and troubles are mine, because I am who I am. I find physical obstacles easier to overcome than mental and emotional obstacles. Perhaps you are good at dealing with emotional or mental obstacles. You might see my perceived strength and think yourself weak by comparison (I see this a lot in wrestling). Youre not. One cannot think, [He/she]s so strong and capable. I wish I was. That other person is thinking the same about you. Perhaps one person is good at building anything, but crippled by financial crises. Perhaps youre good at stretching every penny to live a comfortable life, and cant maintain your own home. We all have different strengths and gifts. We were meant to support and compliment each other. 8. You let other people steal from you. Im not sure I agree with this. Sometimes you must give your time charitably. Im not talking about volunteering at a soup kitchen. Sometimes you must give your time to those who are not deserving, so that they may benefit from something you can teach them. There were a lot of people that thought I was not deserving of their time six years ago. They were right. However, they gave of their time and I learned. I now call them all friends, and I am a better man for them having done so. Sometimes one must give ones time charitably, so that others can become deserving. 9. You can’t/won’t let go. I have nothing to add to this. This is one of the prime human struggles. It can destroy us; even as we claim to be surviving. Again, we were meant to help and support each other. Dont give in to sadness. Process it. 10. You don’t give back. This point supports my thoughts on number 8. Volunteering for charitable causes is good, too. Buy a kid a slice of pizza, when his mom cant afford it. Buy someones groceries when they appear to be struggling. That guy scrounging change to buy a soda at the convenience store? Help him out. The guy too absorbed with his business call to free up a hand and carry the three trays of coffee hes taking back to the office: offer to carry one. Youll feel better about you, even if they dont thank you or appreciate what theyve been given. Who knows? You might be the thing they needed to make a change in their own life.
Posted on: Wed, 30 Jul 2014 13:08:29 +0000
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