1 year (12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days) That seems like an eternity - TopicsExpress



          

1 year (12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days) That seems like an eternity when youre young. Be it waiting for Christmas morning to see what Santa has left you underneath the tree or your Birthday, a day to celebrate you, but as we get older time starts to fly by faster and faster 5, 10 even 20 years in the blink of an eye is gone behind us but even than you get excited over certain events. Graduation, Weddings, births of children, grandchildren and even great grandchildren... Today though is not one of those days. For today as of 7:36am (ironically the time it is right now) I got a call from my Mother telling me we have lost the only man I have ever trusted 100% who didnt let me down (whether I believed it at the time or not) and that man would be my Father Marc David Jotzat. One year of sorrow, of pain and anger, tears and rarely joy. One year of hopeing, praying and wishing on every star that this is just a night terror and I will wake up to him in the livingroom watching tv... But sadly that has been one year of false irrational hope. All I have now is the memories which is more than a lot of people can say but damn Im selfish Id rather him here above anything else and memories just arent enough. I know he is not in pain anymore which as one of the two people who helped him before he had to stay at the hospital I can say I am glad for that. But if I had known than, that day in the livingroom was going to be the last time I got to have a face to face, one on one, Father to Daughter conversation with him outside of short phone calls when he could talk I would have said so much more than I did which now I will regret for the rest of my life because I was to stubborn and so convinced that he was going to beat the cancer I couldnt, wouldnt and didnt believe anything else which is stupid on my end but he was a fighter from 12/1/65 until 9/5/13 so Id probably still feel that way. Theres not much else I can say besides I love you, I miss you and I wish you were here instead of wherever you are... Pretending to be happy can sometimes drain you more than the sorrow you are determined to hide. RIP Dad. I talk to you more than anyone can realize and one day maybe youll answer again.
Posted on: Fri, 05 Sep 2014 13:17:08 +0000

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