10 GOLDEN rules of Dating as a single mother 1. Use the golden rule, “Once bitten twice shy”. Don’t be too quick to trust that new catch to an extent of planting another baby in there, unless you are ready and willing to bring them up alone. Most men will plant that seed there and disappear just like the first one! 2. Your child comes first. Let no man try to separate your kid from you, or make you deny your kid(s) the necessary love and attention. If he cannot accept dating you knowing there is a kid in the picture, drop him and move on. Set rules on how to date him such that you never miss important dates with your kid(s) just because you have him. 3. Avoid rushing to introduce the man/men you are dating to the kid(s). Doing so will also make your own kids view you as a loose immoral woman, have respect. Only introduce him to your kids if you are sure the relationship is going somewhere. Same applies to important friends and relatives. 4. If you stay in a rental place, avoid sleeping there with a man in the presence of your kid(s) especially at the initial stages of the relationship; this amounts to psychological torture to the kid(s), and paints the wrong picture to them especially if they expressly know that is not their dad. 5. Avoid trying to force your new lover to accept your kid(s). Let things flow smoothly such that if he does not accept them, you can smoothly let go off that relationship. 6. Avoid forcing your kid(s) to accept their new dad, or your new lover; allow time to bridge that gap. Just demand respect out of the kid(s) not love. Accept that your kid(s) might never blend completely with their new dad. 7. Avoid using your kid(s) to make scores with your lover e.g. demanding money for their upkeep like school fees. Let the man do that voluntary not as if it is his duty. Trust me; no man loves to be forced to bring up a kid he did not sire! 8. Avoid talking about your kid(s) a lot to your new lover especially at the initial stages of the relationship. This might scare the man away especially if he views the kid as an added and unanticipated responsibility. 9. Avoid talking about the father of the kid(s) unless it is absolutely necessary. Talking about him send the signal that you are still stuck to your past. Your ex might have hurt you, but avoid making your current lover carry your ex’s cross! 10. Avoid talking about how many kids you are willing to get with him especially at the initial stages. This only makes the man feel like he will never get the best of you since the best of you is buried in your past relationship. The rest is all up to you. Good luck.
Posted on: Fri, 05 Dec 2014 12:42:53 +0000
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