10 SUGGESTIONS ON HOW TO CONTROL YOURSELF AND NOT BE UPSET OR ANGRY AT OTHERS por Jose Oliveira How to control yourself when you get upset with people or situations? Its an uncomfortable feeling to be upset with somebody, let alone to be mad or angry... The truth is that we dont need to be slaves of our feelings. We can control them, with our will. However, it requires will power to control yourself. No wonder people say that the greatest power you can exercise in live is the power over yourself, of controlling yourself. How can we control ourselves? Are there some good practices to help us with this? Here is some suggestions: 1. Know that to be able to control yourself can be a matter of life and death, success or loss. Many people get themselves in great trouble just because they couldnt control yourselves and let themselves be controlled by anger, depression and situations. If you lose control easily, or if you dont know how to control yourself in critical situations, you may end up in terrible situations as physical danger, jail, etc. 2. Know that to control yourself is possible. To release your wrath on people or situations is in fact a choice of yours, as would be not to do so. You have the power of decision, you decide to be upset or not. 3. Change your mind about fairness. People that easily let anger to take over, usually has a questionable concept of fairness, thinking that is fair to lose control when people or situations are adverse to you. No, is never fair to impose your temper over other people, or make people uncomfortable because with your temper, even if they supposedly deserve it. 4. Rehearse in your mind situations in which you usually lose control and establish peaceful alternatives to these same situation. Suppose you always lose control when your spouse shows inconsideration towards you. This has been for years and years and always you lose control. You may think that you are right in doing so, but afterwards, you always feel guilty about. Rehearse these situations in your mind and establish alternate reactions. How could you react with consideration before an inconsiderate attitude? 5.Dont answer immediately. Keep in silence for a while, until the boiling feeling has cooled. Leave the presence of the person who made you upset, or leave the scene of the situation that made you mad. Give time to think which is the best and lovely way to answer to upsetting situation. 6.Try to understand why the person that upset you acted the way he or she acted. Did he or she knew that such an attitude or actions would upset you? Try to look the situation from the other persons perspective. 8.Remember who is the person who you are about to be upset with. In all cases, he or she is somebody you should care for: the spouse, the children, the relatives, the friends, the associates, or even a simple HUMAN BEING. 9.Put yourself in the shoes of the person who upset you. If you were he or she, how would you like to be treat in the same situation? Decide to treat that person in the same way you would like to be treated. This is the Gold Rule. 10.Think of how temporary and temporal the situation that is causing you to be upset may be.Sometimes we get mad at people for things that are not really important, just because they didnt do something in the way we wanted or expected. It is not a matter of life and death. I am writing these suggestions first for myself, because today in the morning I got upset with a situation and it was difficult for to get over it. So now, having reflected about, I feel better and certainly I am not getting mad at the people that created the situation. I will tell them that I understand that misunderstandings happen all the time and I am ok it happened in this situation. I will just let them know in a calm, polite and lovely way that what they did wasnt exactly what I expected and I would like it be corrected. And I will explain again to them, in the best I can, how I would like the job be done. So I am sure that my assessment of this situation will work for me... I will not feel guilty afterwards... I never can guarantee how people are going to react, even if I tried my best, but again, I will absorb their reaction in the most polite, calm and lovely way I can, and will try not give them reason to to feel guilty about this situation. I hope these suggestions will help you too.
Posted on: Fri, 01 Nov 2013 21:14:24 +0000
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