10 point algorithm to be a successful Face book arguer: 1. Find a topic: This must be easy. You don’t have to create a topic. Just hunt for topics worth arguing. I personally like religion and feminism. If you want to be considered smarter try nuclear energy, modern art and other such things which most of us don’t understand. 2. Go through the comments. If you find someone has already made a comment that goes against the basic idea of the post. If yes, start attacking. If no make such a comment yourself. Simple things like calling the admin a moron/misogynist/communal will work wonders. Wait for someone else to attack you. 3. Pick a particular sentence in what the person has said and ask him/her what he/she means by that. Here is the point where blunders will be committed. You will get fodder for arguing from what this person replies. 4. Read the starting para about the topic on Wiki and build. I tell you by experience it is utterly stupid to read up the whole wiki article. You just create your own facts as explained in the next point. 5. Create your facts. For e.g if you are arguing over Islam and terrorism, say something like line number 242 in page number 25 of Quran tells you suicide bombing is legit and since you had read it long back in Arabic you cannot share the link. 6. Never ever write a short reply. The longer the reply, the more it is effective. If you are able to write arguments longer than the post, the battle is half won. 7. Quote the person and insert something completely unrelated. Say you are arguing about whether Sachin should retire. Say something like as per post modern Keynesian theory… 8. Get personal. Say things like ‘Oh! You are jealous because you are not pretty enough’. 9. Invite your friends to support you. Ensure your comment thread is on top. Gather support. 10. When nothing else works say you don’t argue with fools. Insert haha hehe, smileys and walk away. Say ‘ I rest my case’.
Posted on: Fri, 30 Aug 2013 07:40:00 +0000
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