1000 LIKES FOR THIS GIRL ‘I love you’ he said and came closer to me to kiss my lips. For an instant I wanted to reciprocate too, but then suddenly I moved away with a jerk. No, I just couldn’t do it. He looked at me aghast; I felt guilty but what could I do. ‘I love you too,’ I said him, trying my best to reassure, but ‘I am sorry I can’t kiss you’ I said. I could see that he wanted to know why, but when he saw my sad face he kept quiet. He is very understanding and loving, I love him so much, I wanted to kiss him too, hold him tight, feel his lips in mine, love him even more but I was scared. I had no idea what to do. I came back home that day, locked myself in my room and cried silently in my pillow. I so wanted to tell him the truth, the truth that I had been hiding for so long but couldn’t muster the courage to say it to him. Perhaps I am being selfish, as I couldn’t bear the pain of losing him. I just wanted to live this beautiful dream till the day I could but when he would know the truth? My phone beeped, it was a message from him, ‘Love you sweets, Good night.’ It read, ‘Love you forever,’ I said as tears rolled down my eyes again. Somehow I felt I was betraying him, cheating on him, hiding such a big truth of my life, I had to say it but I don’t know how. I am a HIV+ person, I got it from my mom, and she was infected by HIV when she was in her late twenties by an unsterilized injection. Then she got pregnant, she was a strong woman, she fought hard till AIDS finally attacked her, yet she lived for a good 20 years, I still remember her saying to me, fight like a true warrior. I remember her crying holding my little hands and asking for forgiveness, but I was always proud of her, she taught me to be brave, to fight and to never give up. I haven’t acquired AIDS yet, the docs are very optimistic, giving me hope that I can live a normal life without AIDS getting the better of me. And I promised my mom I shall fight. But I have to live a life alone; I cannot let anyone go through what I go through every single day. I eat veggies, good food is very important; a lot of exercise, medication, vitamins, and of course a happy attitude. Kill your problems with a smile and a strong heart. But I am scared to kiss; I will not marry even though I love him so much. I feel guilty at times; feel like I led him along to fall in love with me even after knowing I have a disease that has no cure. His family would probably throw me out of his house. I miss my mommy at times, it is so difficult without her, my daddy is like a pillar to me but I sometimes see him silently sitting in the dark looking at mommy’s picture, Oh daddy I love you so much, you are the strongest and bravest and the most wonderful man on this earth. Mommy loved you so much. My relatives avoid coming to our home, they don’t even eat at our place. HIV doesn’t spread through food, but even literate people lack knowledge at times. My schools and colleges have been discreet, if the other parents come to know I will be thrown out, who would want a diseased person infecting their children. Sigh! But I am happy, I love my life, even though it is not like others, but I am proud of who I am. One day I will tell him, I don’t know what will happen after that, but Mommy and God has made me strong enough, I shall endure everything with a smile. Oh yes, Bring it on! 22/F Shared from GMC
Posted on: Fri, 29 Aug 2014 16:30:01 +0000
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