19 years ago today I lost my best friend. My grandmother. It sucks that 15 years with her was not long enough. But through it all I was taught two valuable lessons. #1- be careful what you wish for. #2- choose your words carefully. You never know if you will have the chance to take them back. I was 15 and thought I knew it all. My grandmother was paralyzed she needed constant care. At the time that got in the way of my pathetic life. I was not able to do something. Anyway long story short I ran up to my room and yelled I wish you would die. Well next day she passed away. People including myself tend to get so caught up in life with the things they dont have or the things they cant do to realize the things they have and the things they can do. I never had the chance to take back those 5 words that most likely put a knife in my Grandmothers back. I was so mad young and stupid. The guilt is the worse part. I did apologize for it. But she was sleeping. Did she hear me? I have no idea. But somehow I know she understood. I know I was forgiven. But it took me many years to realize this. Truthfully I feel it took me hear my own son lash out at me to realize the love is always there between a mother and child. (She raised me from an early age so its like she is my mother) I am not happy by far with what I said. I am not trying to excuse my behavior. But I do know the guilt is no where as bad anymore. For years I blamed myself for her death. But I had nothing to do with it just crappy timing.
Posted on: Sat, 25 Jan 2014 06:27:22 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015