1O ACTION SIGNALS 1. DISCOMFORT-Uncomfortable emotions dont hav a tremendous amount of intensity, but they do bother us & create the naggin sensation that things r not quite right. MESSAGE: Boredom, impatience, unease, distress, or mild embarrassment r all sendin U a message that somethin is not quite right. Maybe the way Ure perceivin things is off, or the actions Ure takin r not producin the results U wan. SOLUTION: Clarify wat U do wan; & Refine yo actions. Try slightly dfrent approach. 2. FEAR-Fearful emotions include everythin 4rm low levels of concern & apprehension 2 intense worry, anxiety, fright, & even terror. MESSAGE: Fear is simply the anticipation that somethin thats goin 2 happen soon needs 2 b prepared 4. We need either 2 prepare 2 cop wit the situation, or do somethin 2 change it. SOLUTION: Review wat U wer feelin fearful bout & evaluate wat U must do 2 prepare yoslf mentally. Figureout wat actions U need 2 take 2 deal wit the situation in the best possible way. 3. HURT. If theres any one emotion that seems 2 dominate human relationships, both personal & professional, its the emotion of hurt. Feelings of hurt r usually generated by a sense of loss. Wen people r hurt they often lash out at others. MESSAGE: The message the hurt signal gives us is that we hav an expectation that has not bn met. SOLUTION: Realize that in reality U may not hav lost anything. Mayb wat U need 2 lose is the false perception that this person is tryin 2 wound or hurt U. Take a moment & reevaluate the situation. Ask yoslf, Is there really loss here? Or am I judgin this situation 2 soon, or 2 harshly? Elegantly & appropriately communicate yo feeling of loss 2 the person involved. 4. ANGER. Angry emotions include everythin 4rm bein mildly irritated 2 bein angry, resentful, furious, or evn enraged. MESSAGE: The message of anger is that an important rule or standard that U hold 4 your life has bn violated by someone else, or mayb even U.SOLUTION: Realize that U may hav misinterpreted the situation completely, that yo anger bout this person breakin yo rules may b based on the fact that they don know wats most important 2 U (even tho U bliv they should). Realize that evn if a person did violate one of yo standards, yo rules r not necessarily the right rules, evn tho U feel as strongly as U do bout them. 5. FRUSTRATION. Frustration can com 4rm many avenues. Any time we feel like wer surrounded by roadblocks in our lives, wher we r continuously puttin out effort but not receivin rewards. MESSAGE: It means that yo brain blives U cud b doin better than U currently r. SOLUTION: Realize that frustration is yo friend, & brainstorm new ways 2 get a result. How can U flex yo approach? Get som input on how 2 deal wit the situation find a role model, somone who has found a way 2 get wat U wan. 6. DISAPPOINTMENT. This can b vry destructive if U don deal wit it quickly. Disappointment is the devastatin feelin of bein let down or that Ure goin 2 miss out on somethin forever. Anythin that makes U feel sad or defeated as a result of expectin mo than U get is disappointin. MESSAGE: An expectation U hav had-a goal U wer really goin 4-is probably not goin 2 happen, so its time 2 change yo expectations 2 make them mo appropriate 4 this situation & take action 2 set & achiv a new goal immediately. SOLUTION: Immediately figure out somthin U can learn 4rm this situation that cud hlp U in the future 2 achiv the vry thing U wer afta in the first place. Realize that a situation isnt over yet, & dvelop mo patience. Completely reevaluate wat U truly wan, & bgin 2 dvelop an evn mo effective plan 4 achivin it. 7. GUILT. The emotions of guilt, regret, & remorse r among the emotions human beings do most avoid in life. MESSAGE: Guilt tells U that U hav violated one of yo own highest standards, & that U must do somthin immediately 2 ensure that Ure not goin 2 violate that standard again in the future. Guilt is the ultimate leverage 4 many people in changin a behavior. SOLUTION: Acknowledge that U hav, in fact, violated a critical standard U hold for yoslf. Absolutely commit yoslf 2 makin sure this bhavior wil not happen again in future. 8. INADEQUACY. This feelin of unworthiness occurs anytime we feel we cant do somthin we shud be able 2 do. MESSAGE: U don presently hav a level of skill information, understanding, strategies, tools or confidence. SOLUTION: Simply ask yoslf, Is this really an appropriate emotion 4 me 2 feel in this situation? 9. OVERLOAD OR OVERWHELM. Grief, depression, & helplessness r merely expressions of feelin overloaded or overwhelmed. This happens wen yo life is bein impacted negatively by people, events, or forces that r outside yo control. MESSAGE: U need 2 reevaluate wats important 2 U in this situation. SOLUTION: Dcide, out of all the things Ure dealin wit in yo life, wat is the absolute, most important thing 4 U to focus on. 10. LONELINESS. Anythin that makes us feel alone, apat, or separate 4rm others belongs in2 this category. MESSAGE: Is that you need to connect wit otha people. SOLUTION: Realize that U can reach out & make a connection immediately & end the loneliness. Ther r carin people evrywhr. Identify wat kind of connection U need. Do U need an intimate connection? Or mayb U just need some basic frndshp, or somone 2 listen 2 U or 2 laugh or talk wit.
Posted on: Mon, 10 Mar 2014 03:28:00 +0000
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