20 Like You A factory owner said to a store owner, Thank you, Mr. Smith, for your patronage. I wish I had twenty customers like you. Wow, its nice to hear that, but Im kind of surprised, admitted Smith. You know that I argue every bill and always pay late. The factory owner said, Id still like twenty customers like you. The problem is, I have two hundred. ******************************* The only way Im going to drop ten pounds is if I go shopping in England. ****************************** Gods Power A boy was helping his mother bring the clothes in off the line as a storm threatened. As they brought in the last armload and closed the door, the boy waved his hand at the heavens and said, Okay God! Leter go! ************************************** Johnnys F Little Johnny stared at his test paper. The big read F stared back at him. Freddie looked at his glum friend and asked, Why did you get such a low grade on that test? Because of an absence, Johnny answered. You mean you were absent on the day of the test? he questioned. Little Johnny replied, No, but the kid who sits next to me was. *************************************** Flower Order By the time the wedding planner finally bothered to order the flowers there were none left. The service ended up being quite lackadaisical. ************************************ Motivation The cowboy walked into the tack shop. How much for a pair of spurs? he asked the sales clerk. Forty dollars. The cowboy looked in his wallet, thought for a moment, then pulled out a twenty. Ill take one spur. Whatll you do with just one? the clerk asked. The cowboy replied, I figger if I can get one side of the horse movin, the other sidell go too. *********************************** Jonah Comeback A little girl was talking to her teacher about Jonah being swallowed by a great fish. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a fish to swallow a human because even though they were large their throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a large fish. The teacher reiterated that a fish could not swallow a human; it was impossible. The little girl said, When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah The teacher asked, What if Jonah went to hell? The little girl replied, Then you ask him. **********************************
Posted on: Sat, 24 Jan 2015 23:38:23 +0000