20 Ways to Cope with Toddler Tantrums: Understand what normal toddler behaviour is, the chances are your toddler is behaving perfectly normally for their age, yet knowing something is normal makes it a lot easier to deal with. Understand how a toddler’s brain develops and what they are therefore physically capable of doing and understanding. e.g; did you know that toddlerss are incapable of understanding other’s feelings? or why sharing is important? they just don’t have the brain capacity! Similarly toddlers do not have the ability to regulate their emotions and behaviour as we do, they literally ‘flip out’ during a tantrum and even if they wanted to control their feelings and calm down, they can’t. They need your help for that. Try to see things from your toddler’s point of view. How might they be feeling? How were they feeling before the tantrum? during? after? Empathy for your toddler can be eye opening! Try to avoid situations that trigger the unwanted behaviour – eg: if you toddler always tantrums during your weekly food shop consider internet shopping and having the shopping delivered! Try to ensure your toddler has enough sleep, both at night and in the daytime, tiredness is a big trigger for toddlers and try to avoid taking your toddler out and about (particularly with stimulating classes) when they are tired, it won’t be fun for anyone! Instead of ignoring your toddler during a tantrum try to comfort them, a tantrum is scary for them – they can’t control their emotions like we can, a big hug is often much more effective and positive in the long term than the usual ‘ignore it’ advice. Communicate at your toddler’s level – literally, bend down so you are at eye level with them and use simple words and short sentences. Don’t forget a hug is communication too – you are saying “it’s OK, I’m here for you, I love you”. Describe the behaviour you want from your toddler e.g: “we use gentle hands” rather than what you don’t want e.g: “don’t hit people”. Your toddler’s brain processing works differently from yours, if you keep repeating “don’t do this” followed by the undesirable behaviour you may as well be telling your toddler to do it! Understand that your toddler is absolutely not doing this to manipulate you or wind you up – granted it feels like that sometimes (boy does it!) but they really aren’t, they are going through such a tricky time, their behaviour is their way of expressing it – it is absolutely never plotted and planned to embarrass you. Give your toddler as many choices as you can, e.g: lay out 3 different outfits in the morning and let them choose, it’s amazing how a bit of control can improve a toddler’s behaviour, after all they don’t have much control over any other aspect of their lives. Jude x
Posted on: Thu, 03 Oct 2013 10:23:25 +0000