2001. The world was on a wave of post-90s ennui. The 21st century was here, and we were disappointed. All the promise we once cast into the great pool of modern humanity, all the aspirational Ferrari daydreams we once lived, they had been slain. Our thoughts darkened and weary, our lives torn apart by the rampant march of consumerism, the global war machine and greed; Pure human, visceral, unrelenting greed. Our ideals had been crushed into the dust. They were dead, and we were dying. The world needed a change. The world needed a shift. On that historical day, few would have thought that 4 elderly Canadian men would be the bearer of the new age. The youth had turned to vagrancy, our intelligentsia doomed to the servitude of our leaders, and our artists, our creatives and our superluminaries were drowning in a pool of sour, contrived cultural soup. We were lost. Hopeless, incomplete and facile. But then it came. Grumbling a guttural revolution from the ether, the surge of sound and vocal manipulation, the anger of a spoiled heart. A kick to the shins. Humanity rose, we stood and we applauded these men. They had given us love. They had given us joy. They had given us life. For 13 years to this very day, the most incredible and brilliant musical event transpired. The heaviest, loudest, realest and greatest album of all time, Silver Side Up by Nickelback was released. The reception was resoundingly magnetic - The band of the people had come. The world joined as one to welcome these carriers of justice, these nobles amongst kings, these knights amongst gods. Their message was prophetic, rhetorical, and correct. Music was reborn, the lines of the map had moved, and the old ways had been smashed. Our new era of enlightenment had begun. It truly was the dawning of the golden era, the springboard into the great glittering age of civilisation. Such was our feverish worship, the leaders of this world felt it proper to allow Chad Kroeger to take the most beautiful woman who has ever lived as a wife. That is the greatest honour we can bestow this man, and it is but a trifling insignificance when compared to his endeavours. We are eternally in their debt, and we are eternally grateful. They will live on, as we grow old. They will be always, forever. They will be perpetual legends, and they will never be superceded. They are the pinnacle of human evolution, and we are mere onanistic chimps in comparison.
Posted on: Fri, 12 Sep 2014 00:43:25 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015