2014 was a year of surprises and change for me. Some great, some not so much. I got to go on two unexpected trips, one to Greece and the second to Australia. I was hospitalized three times, and discovered I was walking around the earth carrying a malignant, very rare, life-threatening tumor for over 15 years. Found out it was genetic, a mutated gene passed on to me from one of my parents. I lost loved ones to death or separation. I gained a fantastic grandson who puts light in my eyes and my step, as do my daughters, granddaughters, hubby, true friends, siblings, nieces and nephews. I gained a few good friends. I made a better relationship with my child. I was able to help a few people along the way, and renew a friendship I thought Id ruined. I spoke on the phone to a sibling I never knew. I got to visit a dear uncle about a month before he died. I celebrated the wedding of two people I helped bring together. I got to go to the shore with my family in tow for a week. I shared lunches and yoga classes and bike rides with friends who want me in their lives. I learned that my daughters believe I was a good mom, and not the terrible one I thought I was. I saw my granddaughters dance on stage. I got to play a princess many times with my 3-year-old granddaughter, and sign her to sleep. I got to watch my first grandson grow, learn to smile and laugh. I discovered that I could overcome my childhood distrust of church and that I actually look forward now to going weekly to a church I really like. I feel more change around me, and am better able to embrace it now. For the first time in my life, I feel my age, and there are some really cool things that go along with that, like a calmness knowing wisdom has taught me that I cannot control everything that happens. I have learned how to really love, and what that takes, courage and unselfishness. I have mourned many things and people this past year, and it did not kill neither me nor my hope. I am ready to reinvent myself again and follow other paths. I am ready for 2015. I am gentled and humbled, arms wide open. I will leap into this new year, knowing that even in a darkness, a net will appear.
Posted on: Sat, 03 Jan 2015 23:12:25 +0000
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