#25 Me:” sandile don’t do this to me please” sandile:” do what leh? Im being honest with you here.” Me:” lead me on and leave me high and dry” sandile:” not wet?” me:” sandile please im serious here” sandile:” I know, but lethu im serious. I’ve been thinking a lot about us lately, I think we need to give it another try for the sake of the girls and our parents” me:” no no no, you’ve made your bed now lay in it.” Sandile:” mamkhize are you giving up on us?” me:” you gave up on us first, I want you to want me not because of the kids or our parents but I want you to want to be with me because you love me and you are inlove with me” sandile:” I do love you” me:” but why the sudden change though? Think things through and when you know you are ready then we can talk about us” sandile:” fine, just promise me that while Im gone you don’t do anything stupid” me:” excuse you, anything stupid like what?” sandile:” falling inlove with another man for one” me:” you are inlove with another woman for crying out loud” he tightens his jaws and I realise that I’ve just pulled the carpet right under him and he never saw it coming and just like that he lost the battle but I have a feeling that there is yet a war coming my way especially now that he realises that the grass is really not that green on the other side afterall. He sighs and take a few steps back, I take out my underwear and put it on with my back against him. I turn to face him and he is staring at me with so much intensity that I feel weak, me:” what?” sandile:” nothing” sothando:” wozani phela baba-na (dad come)” I didn’t even see her walk in and I can’t help but notice how invisible I am to sothando when sandile is around. The bond that they share is greater than the one she shares with sanele. Sandile:” we’re coming nana go back to zodwa” for some unknown reason, hearing sandile dismiss her like that sends chills down my spine. I don’t understand why but I am overcome by this feeling of apprehension. I walk forward in an attept to get to the lounge and my grumbling stomach is a reminder of how famished I am. He reaches for me and gives me the volcanic met tsunami kiss that tears me apart and leaving panting and longing to be violated by a rather aggressive lover as opposed to a gentle one. He ends the kiss by gently tugging on my lower lip, he’s teasing me and I’m allowing it. I hate myself for not being able to resist his lips, his charms and everything that is part and parcel of him. he pulls away, sandile:” the kids are waiting” and he strides out of my bedroom oozing with confidance and I’m left breathless, hot and horny. I take a few breaths before joining them in the lounge, I walk in and he has the 2 pizza containers on the floor and the it’s a self service type of thing. Me:” where is zodwa?” sandile:” eating in the kitchen, we’re are sorry for starting without you” me:” its fine” uluthando:” eat mummy” she hands me her slice of pizza which has already been bitten. I take a cushion and sit on it on the floor between the girls, sandile gets up exiting the room and returns with a carton of juice and four glasses. He pours for us all and for a moment I wish I had allowed him to return home and for us to give our marriage another go. Its still not too late I think, I will let him know after our meal. After two slices of pizza and a glass of juice, I clear the lounge and when I get back he is on his phone he his eyes follow me to my seat and remain on me and I can help but listen in. sandile:” … I’m still with lethu and the kids… of course, what do you take me for… ok, I will see you shortly… love you too” it becomes clear to me that he is speaking to her, and when he declared his love for her it leaves me torn inside. His words hit harder than a blow to the stomach, more painful than a paper cut and to think I was willing to give it another go. i’m hurting so much that I feel like screaming to let all this bottled anger out, I get up and walk out of the room, the girls are watching cartoon. Initially i fear that I will break down in front of him but I refuse to subject myself to such cruelty, not any more its time I start forgetting about sandile ever loving me and only me and concerntrate on something else. Something in the form of Lunga…
Posted on: Sat, 30 Aug 2014 17:24:18 +0000
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