28HOME AWAY FROM HOME EPISODE 28 u must pay the fine oh,2day u go smell peppera man on red T-shirt shouted clinging on my belt, bros abeg no vex,i no go do am againi pleaded.I turned and saw another guy giving my guys a hard chase. u must pay the five thousand naira fine oh the guy on red said,but na only piss i piss na,how i go pay 5k for just pissi cried.when i carry u go meet our oga,na 10k u go pay be that, if u do stubborn head i go use dis thing hite u for head and ur p*ick go disapearthe guy said bringing out what looked fetish, comprising of feathers and broom-sticks. yekpa!! I no want make my p*ick disapear oh, my p*ick still dey do plenty work oh, i still dey use am well well oh i confessed. I saw the other guy dragging Ilorin to where we stood,so them don catch Ilorin but him no piss nai tot.chairman i no get 5k oh, abeg,abegi pleaded,u dey mad, u no c wetin dem write there before u piss there?he queried clinging on my singlet. leave my singlet oh,u no know say na original BYCi almost said. bros ejór oh,émà bínu,i no piss na abeg,abegIlorin begged the pot-belly guy that was holding him.but why u no tell ur friend make him no piss here na?the pot belly guy queried bringing his own fetish juju out.As Ilorin saw it he said,bros i tell am oh but him say if una come him go give una the money,say him get money plenty haba!! Ilorin why u dey lie, na wetin i talk?i shouted at the top of my voice. so u get money abi? the guy on red asked bringing his head close to mine for me to notice his bad breathe.i be like person wey get money?I get money nahim i wear this kin trouser?i said pointing at my wishy washy trouser.u no get money abi,i go hite dis tin for ur head so u no go get prick again the guy holding me threatened.I tot i heard Ilorin laughed at that moment,on the contrary he was grumbling. The tot of losing my most precious dick made me cry out saying;i go pay oh! i go pay oh! But na 3000 naira i get oh ok, where the money? the guy on red asked, i was eased a beat that he actually agreed to collect 3000 naira e dey house, make this my guy go bring am comei said.I gave Ilorin my house key ordering him to collect only 3k out of the 5k remaining under my TV. As i and Ilorin walked home after the whole incident,it started raining.Something came to my mind,the skies were sympatizing with me over the pains and sorrows i went through that day;first it was the trouser and shoe wahala,secondly, the church worker wahala,thirdly,the jersey predicament and finally the pee palava. Or would i call it asunday of sorrow?.I was totally lost in my thoughts trying to replay my predicament one after the other when i heard a car honk........... pun pun pun!! comot for road na,if u wan die,no be me go kill u ohthe driver shouted.wow!That was closei tot. I got home very famished.I opened my pot and discovered that what was left of the vegetable soup Juliet cooked the previous day was sour and was smelling badly, see dis kin correct soup oh, e don go sour oh, and big big meat dey am oh, wetin i go do now, i no fit let this big big meat go oh i tot. I munched the meat like a hungry goat, though it was sour in taste but i had no choice. I searched the whole room if i could see something to eat. I found nothing except cornflakes; the conflakes i bought in place of Condom the other day. As i soaked the cornflakes in water and started eating, someone came in, it was Angom, Flow wetin u dey chop like dis na? he asked na cornflakes na i responded. which day u begin eat cornflakes na? he asked. guy no be me buy am oh, na person buy am for me oh, u know say i no dey like all this kin food na, nahim make since wey e dey my house na today i just dey open am i said, oboy i dey hungry oh, even the whole cornflakes wey dey dis world no go belle full me oh i added. Me sef dey hungry, make we go Kelvin house go chop, him babe dey around, she cook rice and beans wey full pot Angom suggested. We got to Kelvins room at the nick of time when the food was served. serve my guys food oh he told his girlfriend. Flow, why u sabi rush hot food na, abi ur mouth get deep freezer, d food no dey burn ur tongue? Angom said. na u sabi oh, u no dey hungry na, if u dey hungry, even if the food hot reach hundred degree, u go chop am like dat i responded.abeg i no fit rush food like u oh Angom said. Me and Angom was eating from a plate while Kelvin and his girlfriend ate from a seperate plate. Althrough Kelvin was bombarding us with wrong english. He was trying to impress his new girlfriend that he can speak well when he knew he cant. Since i had known Kelvin, his grammar had grew from worse to worst, infact its nothing to write home about. He kept speaking grammatical blunder, i didnt laugh,but i just swallowed it with the hot rice and beans, until...... he asked his girlfriend baby,why is the rice mucher than the beans?........ WATCH OUT FOR EPISODE 29 after 30likes
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 06:27:53 +0000
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