31 Days Of Miracles - Day 8 November 1982...(pre-saved Cindy) something happened that would indeed forever change my life. An event I sure did not plan for nor did I ever intend to come about. I wasnt what youd call a happy child, I have lots of great childhood memories of course...but I have lots of bad that shaped my outlook on life. It was an outlook that made me more wish I could simply disappear from the face of the earth never to be seen again. I felt my life was worthless and meaningless and really didnt care if I lived or died. That year in July I met a very skinny, raggedy looking young man with shoulder length brown, wavy hair. He was kind of a cross between a hippy and a redneck with his scraggly full beard. Man oh man...think Ill put the dropping off the earth thing on hold...for now ;) We immediately became inseparable and decided to move in together after only knowing one another for 3 months. (dont judge...that was Saul, this Paul and God had it all under control) It was rocky at times but for better or worse he proposed...sort of...while talking one night I mentioned marriage and he said...ya wanna? Wanna what? Do that? Get married? I guess? Okay. Thats when it took a serious turn downward for me...very soon after I found out I was pregnant...OoooooMyyyyyGooodness...might as well be the kiss of death! I told him he didnt have to marry me and he said were in this together I was devastated because I did not want to bring a child in to this worthless world and I knew it was going to be a girl! I KNEW! I begged the God I didnt care about to let me have a boy...I really wanted a boy...in fact if I had that boy I would have only had one child because I didnt like girls...didnt want a girl! It was a mental battle the entire pregnancy of doom knowing it was going to be a girl. My due date (July 27) came and went and finally on August 11...my long awaited baby boy...Jamie LeAnn Gallant was born (lol) 8am...10.3...19 baby girl made her entrance in to my life! I cried...I was sooo upset! What am I going to do with this thing? My childhood as a girl was horrible...I thought all girls were doomed to be used and abused and I was heartbroken for her. Yes, I was lost in a world I didnt know how to escape from. I didnt know I held the key to my own locked door...in reality...that little girl held the key...you see my friends, Gods gift to me that day...helped to set me free from a prison and showed me how to love...my baby...my miracle...Jamie LeAnn Gallant...
Posted on: Thu, 08 Jan 2015 16:17:17 +0000
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