#321 Right. Im sorry to do this but I need to get this out in the open - not unlike the object at the centre of this post. First though, because this topic offends my delicate Victorian sensibilities (people who know me know I dont appreciate toilet humour - for example, I find farting extremely unfunny - and so would you if you ever took the time to wonder at the physical aspects of the activity.) Bearing this in mind, if any one approaches in real life to talk about this, I will assume an old-world aloof bemusement that any one should broach such a disgusting subject in open conversation. In any case, Im about to lower the tone. You have been warned. So, its a work place problem and its happened to me once before with a previous manager. This time, no one else was there so I didnt have to embark upon any stilted, stuttering excuses which in the end always make you appear more guilty. Im talking about the toilets and jobbies. There, I said it, its out in the open. How does one intimate a blush on here? Our toilets are basically a number of cubicle off a hall way. There are three ordinary cubicles and a disabled one at the end. You walk in (making sure as best one can no one witnessed you doing so - youre going in ostensibly for the purposes of evacuating ones bowels - if you then spend forty minutes playing Tetris or Bubble Bobble - people will become suspicious eventually.) Anyway I digress. Sometimes you meet people in the hallway either as youre going into or coming out of a cubicle. I once went into a cubicle, saw that someone had left a large unflushable shit in the pan, so immediately backed out - right into the path of my manager at that time - who dashed into the same cubicle before I had a chance to absolve myself of any responsibility. So to today and the reason for this verbose and prolix post. Fortunately I met no one on this occasion, all cubicles were vacant - except for the third one which had what I can only describe as the biggest turd Ive ever seen lying at a jaunty angle half in and half out of the water. Im not joking, I cant even begin to wonder at the nature of the arse from which it emerged. It was singularly the largest - dare-I-say - most impressive shit Ive ever had the privilege to view. This was much earlier today, work mates may have seen the look of wonder on my face as I returned to my work station (assuming they notice I left at all, they often dont.) I was so distracted by it, I didnt even think to blow my nose - which was the reason for venturing into the toilets in the first place. Its now late in the day, the cleaner has just entered the toilets with a mop & bucket. Were it not for my Victorian tendencies, Id suggest he take something a bit more sturdy in with him - say - a digger. Now, Im glad Ive shared this but we must never speak of it again. NEVER. That is all.
Posted on: Mon, 20 Oct 2014 17:39:00 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015