4am: The dead zone where everyone you talk to is still asleep and everything is well too quiet except for the thoughts rambling in your mind, your fingers fumbling over he keys, cigarette holding one just barely. You heart beat seems faster, but not alarming, your legs are full of electricity and your mouth is wet and dry at the same time. Every glance at the clock in the middle of the screen seems to be going by at 1min-1hr intervals, it feels like an hour, but its only been a minute. Your breath is deep, and slightly unsteady, as with everything at 4:am. A glance over reveals little results, how many more hours do I have again? You dont really want to know, but yet you count. The music from your speakers you so tenderly set at a volume of 34% is grainy, but good enough. Another glance to your right, nothing yet. You wonder if you can scrounge enough change to go get a coffee, but realize that involves walking, on your electric sore and unreleased legs, its a no go. A million ideas waft through your head like smoke from a fire 2 blocks away, are they good ideas? Time will tell. Time, a measurement of life, in short blocks to keep our brains sane and lives going. It provides relief for some, and suffering for others. Like a close friend youre not really sure why youre friends with, or why you even like that friend, but you know you need them. 4:15, you swallow again and take another breath, deeper than usual, your arm hurts, disregard. Swallowing down an ibuprofen with stale soda you poured yesterday at 6pm, its wet at least. Petty said waiting is the hardest part, which is true, yet so undignified. Is waiting noticed when the waiter has something to do? How much waiting until you have mastered the art of waiting? I have spent many years waiting, more than half my life, yet, where are the good things? Again, time, things are good for a time, then comes more waiting. Life is one big waiting room, with short breaks to the over bleached, old potpourri, dirty bathroom.
Posted on: Fri, 25 Jul 2014 09:19:53 +0000
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