5 Harmful Things You Must Not Bring Into Your Relationship Neither is new wine put in old wine skins; for if it is, the skins burst and are torn in pieces, and the wine is spilled and the skins are ruined. But new wine is put into fresh wine skins, and so both are preserved. (The Bible MSG, Matthew 9:17). I have issues. You have issues. We all have issues. There is not one relationship that is immune to issues. We have issues in our relationships because of our differences, backgrounds, belief, exposures, faith, level of maturity and understanding. These differences can be reconciled provided that there is an agreement and a level of tolerance between the parties involved or better still, left behind. Experience, they say is the best teacher. But it is improper when you carry some baggage from previous relationship into the new one. Just like the quote at the opening of this article, handling your new relationship like the old one will cause conflicts and generate many issues in it. What kind of experience have you lived with in your past relationship? If you desire a happy relationship, the followings are not fit to be carried into your new relationship: PAST What you do now will be a story to tell in the future, hence, it could either make or mar the memory youll live with. What kind of past have you experienced? Cheating, lies, deception, abuse or domestic violence; all these are not proper to be carried into your new relationship because it would define how your new relationship would be. Your past has an effect on your new relationship if you decide to live with it. Just because a man/ lady broke your heart does not mean all men/ladies are heart breakers. That a man/lady lied to you does not make all of them a liar. There over a thousand of other good men/women that would treat you with respect, care and act differently from the way others might have done to you. However, the onus lies on you by not taking your past into your new relationship. Are you living in the past or you are out of it? You need to clearly examine yourself. UNFORGIVENESS A sore cannot heal on time if it is prevented from been treated. This same thing applies to the issue of unforgiveness. No matter what has been done to you which may seem to defy forgiveness, unforgiveness will never help you become a better person. You will only keep nursing the pain or hurt for as old as it may be without getting healed if you choose not to forgive. However, carrying this into a new relationship will affect the victim and other party, hence, making a wreck of the relationship. FEAR Everybody has a tiny fraction of deposited fears in his/her heart. Fears becomes a problem when you begin to nurse it more often till it becomes an attitude. Many people fear heart break, cheating or lies. Yes, we all do. But if you carry those fears all about, you are likely going to attract those forces which you feared. Job in the bible feared that he might lose all this wealth and it happened because he nursed it often. Rather than nurse your fears, why not concentrate on building up your faith. You will definitely attract what you feared the most. NEGATIVE THOUGHTS As a man thinks in his heart, so is he. We are the product of our thought life. What youll become in few years time has a lot to do with the outcome of your present thought. What do you think often about your relationship or life? That your father is polygamous, your mother has many husbands, or you were brought up by a single parent, from a separated family, divorced parent or one of your parent was abusive does not mean the same would happen to you. Although, carrying this thought in your mind can influence your relationship if you fail to get rid of it but you can become a better person without having to experience what your parent encountered. Do away with negative thoughts and affirm the positive. WORRY The average human being has the tendency to worry over many issues. Worry is quite similar to fear but it differs in the sense that a person thinks more of problems rather than on solution hereby causing grief. Worry will never solve the problem it often think of. It is normal for people to worry, but easier when you dont capitalize on your problems. Rather than do these, find a way out of your problems by looking for solutions. Are you anticipating a problem you might encounter in your relationship? Do not worry over it but roll them over to God. Relationships are meant to be enjoyed and not endured. Bringing old baggage (issues) into a new relationship will cause lots of problems. Fear, worries, your past or negative thoughts should be kept aside if you really want to enjoy happiness in your relationship. Treat every relationship with a new mentality and perception. Do not carry your past issues into your relationship lest you make a ruin of it. What other things do you know that should not be taken into a relationship?
Posted on: Fri, 07 Mar 2014 09:32:43 +0000