5) JOURNAL....capture your grief. I use to write daily, nightly, sometimes even hourly right after Brandon was killed. The journal is filled with emotions, feelings, letters to Brandon, thoughts and wishes. I dont write so much anymore, everything seems to stay the same, the thoughts, feelings. emotions, disbelief all stay the same. At first when I read back it was in a fog, in shock, as time goes on the first days of reality still stay with me only now there is more added....I dont know if that makes sense or not...the first days were disbelief and shock, a robotic movement that it something you had to do, that remains and still does today, but the next months were spent in looking for a way to bring Brandon home, and that remains today on top of the disbelief and shock, then there is anger which is also just added, then despair and depression and sickness...not one of these feelings, emotions or *stages* as some call them ever go away they are just added to by the next emotion, and it builds up and adds up and weighs more and gets heavier....I do still write but I remember everything, I know I always will, I remember almost every word from everyone, I remember every feeling as I still carry them with me. I talk to Brandon and hope he hears me...I remember everything in my heart and my mind. :(
Posted on: Sun, 12 Oct 2014 06:44:54 +0000
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