5 Questions to Consider Before Giving Up on Your Marriage 1). Is it possible that you are struggling with a personal issue that needs attention? - Sometimes we are full of anger and resentment and it starts to damage our marriage, except we aren’t honest with ourselves about one critical thing. All that anger and resentment is not about our spouse. Maybe it’s from a previous relationship, maybe we have mommy or daddy issues, or maybe we are just mad at ourselves. Ask yourself if you are letting your marriage fall apart because you have some serious personal issues that you haven’t been able to seek the right help for yet. 2). Have you given couples therapy a fair shot? - Many times, couples go to one crappy therapist for 2-3 sessions and then call it quits. There are a lot of great therapists out there, but there are also a lot of crappy ones. Have you given the idea of getting help a fair shot? Have you tried working with different people? Have you tried working with different types of professionals that help couples strengthen their relationships? Don’t give up with ease. You have to feel like you really did everything you could to get help, before you can walk away from a marriage. Your grandma, auntie, uncles wife, trustworthy friends can be your therapist. It doesnt have to be Dr Sugar Dick Dupree from Harare. 3). Do you really want out of your current marriage, or do you just want to improve the marriage you have? - You have to ask yourself where you truly stand. Are you leaving because you simply cannot be with the person you chose to spend your life with, or are you leaving because you find yourself stuck in a marriage you don’t like, with a person you actually love. If there is still love on both sides, there is hope. 4). Have you given your relationship your all? - Sometimes we give up on trying because we just have too much baggage with us. We end up stressed out, tired, angry, frustrated, and discouraged. When that happens, the idea of investing more energy into a partnership that is failing, simply feels like too much. But ask yourself if you will truly be at peace if you walk away from a marriage knowing that you failed to give it your all because you were too tired or too stressed out...or just couldnt be bothered todeal with it? 5). Are your expectations reasonable? - Do you have reasonable expectations of yourself and your spouse? Sometimes we have this fairytale image of what marriage should be, and when it comes up short, the disappointment is hard to manage. But be real about what you expect from your spouse, and what you expect from yourself. Having expectations that are unreasonable set you up for failure in every area of your life—especially your marriage. The whole idea of marriage, is that it will last forever. Most people don’t enter their union thinking about when things will end. Instead, they go into it hoping and praying that things never end. A commitment that isn’t taken lightly by most, marriage is about enjoying the best of life, while preparing to manage and survive the very worst. It’s about staying together through thick and thin. Icho! The Svi-zer! (once again..Svi-zer is German for Svirorist! and if you do not know who the Svirorist is by now, its SDD. If you still do not kow who SDD is then slap yourself sweetie)
Posted on: Tue, 30 Dec 2014 15:42:51 +0000
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